side by
side, we were standing. you are the shadow of my childhood. dark
and behind me. at least i would like to keep you behind me. side
by side, unavoidable. i wish you knew and were responsible for
what you have done in the past. not just you, but what you
represent. when i see you i just remember how it was back then. i
don't know what grade i was in. I must have been around 10.
we were good friends before, we were all close and so similar.
then out of the blue, i wasn't fun to hang around with
anymore. i don't know why you made me out to be the weird
one. you were the centre of the group, you could have reversed
it. i couldn't speak up for myself, i was too taken aback. a
group of friends, people who made me look forward to going to
saturday school had suddenly decided for me that i would from
then on dread saturdays. this is from years ago, i am for the
most part over it. the part i'm not over is the awkwardness
between us. i'm not okay with being made the strange one. i
was left alone and over the years everyone seems to have
forgotten the part they played. "why are you so quiet?
howcome you never hang out with us? it's been ages since we
last saw you." that's the part i'm not over because
it's still ongoing. idk if i'll ever get my closure. if
they have forgotten then so be it. i can't control what
happened. i want to hug my past self. tell her she didn't do
anything wrong. friendship is God's test for you in this
life. i've realised this now. it's okay. i can't say
that it won't continue to hurt you, but if anything it hurts
less often.
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