Love Quote #7078897
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I thought about you a hundred million times- about how sorry

I thought about you a hundred million times- about how sorry I was, how much you changed my life, all the good times and the bad times played like movies in my head. I thought about you so many times that the individual streams of thought flowed into a river that constantly ran through my mind; a babbling brook of guilt that sometimes spilled out of my eyes. Ive spent so many hours trying to force these feelings of mine out of me and into the space between us, but the sounds get so lost in translation. Every song is just a single moment of bursting feeling, threaded through my vocal chords and woven into an image that takes several minutes to be seen. None of the songs are right. Like a painting of a place- the image is never the same as the real thing.I had almost forgotten the feeling you gave me. The single greatest gift I'd ever received. So unexpected and unexplainable. Feeling like I had never known my own soul, but somehow you saw it right away and pulled it straight to my surface so I could see it too. So I could show it to everyone. You did it again- the moment you spoke to me, I felt it. Your attention is like fire. It melts the whole world away.I begged you not to disappear again, knowing full well you'd say no. But I am selfish, and I asked anyway. Just so you'd know how much I missed you. Miss isn't even a strong enough word for the way I feel about being away from you. You isn't a strong enough word for what I'm missing. It's like the feeling that somewhere in another world, I didn't make those mistakes, and our whole lives were different because I never pushed you away. There's so much I want to say to you that my mind is too small to even think of it all. Instead the river will keep running. But a river has life- it is home to fish and it feeds the grass and trees on the riverbank. I know this river of feelings for you will lead me to an ocean someday. Maybe there I'll find the forgiveness I need to give myself.

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SANDD*littlejinxQueenxo

tornedsoul*

posted September 23, 2019 at 10:04am UTC tagged with love, breakup, story, quote

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