LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on'," but I like your thinking."


LITTLE TONY ON MATH


Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.

"But that's right !" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2 ?"

"What's the f ** king difference ?" asks the father.

"That's what I said !"


LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH


Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?"

Little TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR


Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !"


LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael !"
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just f ** king beautiful !'"




not mine what so ever.
but i thought it was freakin funny!
quote number 371354
filed under funny
  1565

People Who Favorited This Quote

Comments for this Quote

Please sign in to leave a comment.

xoxoxoxoxoTaylorLautneroxoxoxoxox November 16, 2009, 6:52 pm
ahahahah i wuz literally laughin my @$$ off
jellyx521 November 12, 2009, 6:24 pm
Ahaha, I love this quote!! My favorite is the english one. :]
ihartkt October 9, 2009, 3:30 pm
OMG AFTER I READ THIS I WAS CRYING ON THE FLOOR CUZ I WAS LAUGHING SOO HARD!!!!!!!!!!
zachzaper120 September 17, 2009, 5:13 pm
omfg, i love this quote!lmfao, i want to be TONYS teachers, cause when he say tht stuf, id lmao and say excuses me class i just peed my pants tht was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA its awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
WhiteRiceVampire September 11, 2009, 8:32 pm
I've seen those jokes before but it's one of the most hilarious things! Thanks for posting it.
lexandjenrock August 23, 2009, 6:32 pm
omfg that is soooooo funny!
xxMeEtAxx August 13, 2009, 12:07 pm
LOL XD
_MrsZ_Montana_ August 11, 2009, 1:11 pm
omg!!
i love thisss quote !!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

:D

made me laff afta agezzz !!!
oxemmaox3 August 10, 2009, 1:06 pm
http://www.wittyprofiles.com/quotes/1005205 please read this quote. And lol, this is hilarious!
SpaseyKasey August 8, 2009, 8:38 pm
Omfg! That is hilarious!!
alektraxx028 July 2, 2009, 8:57 am
itss litttle johnnny not little tony*
xoxomaddyfosho349 June 28, 2009, 10:58 am
hahah lmfao that's the besttttttttttttttttttttt
good qoute :D
rock98 June 24, 2009, 7:57 pm
THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GrApEs172 June 1, 2009, 4:20 pm
lmfaooo
livetolaughxox3 May 30, 2009, 11:22 pm
hahaahaha omg this is amazing!
xox_peace_xo34 May 21, 2009, 3:51 pm
lmaooo!!!!!
How does tony no those things ?!
xogrlygurl021ox May 17, 2009, 2:55 pm
hahahaha omfg hilarious
xotnhxo96 May 13, 2009, 8:22 pm
lmao this is hilarious
1MissedCall12 May 10, 2009, 5:48 pm
hahahahahahahahahahaha
omfg this is flippin halarious!!!
lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao
lexilouxx7 May 7, 2009, 4:14 pm
lmfao !omg i love hhiiiimm.
these are mad funnny [;
i love the settupp, these made me pee !
[; ahhahahahah
xxlils13xx May 6, 2009, 1:45 pm
LMFAO
xxhanxx May 1, 2009, 7:44 pm
lmfao!
CarpeDiemx33 April 29, 2009, 7:05 pm
omg! that was sooo funny!
xbebe2109x April 25, 2009, 10:19 pm
this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny so cicadelic
rockstar3005x April 25, 2009, 10:29 am
this is halarious i couldn't stop laughing

How would you make Witty Profiles better?


Friends of Witty Profiles

Geek Chart
Frank's Icons

Links