Best Advice Quotes Ever

Things that should be less expensive
-Plane tickets
-Whole, natural foods
-Workout clothes
-Phone bills
-University (education) tuition
Things that need to be more expensive
-Processed foods that are causing the obesity rate to skyrocket
fun fact: if you tell someone to kill themselves
it’s considered encouraging suicide
and you can get a fine of $25,000 and 10+ years in prison.
if they actually commit you can be charged with manslaughter.

so really it’s in your best interest not to be a c/unt.
Do not wait until you're thirsty to dig a well

Friendly reminder that
--Not all Christians are homophobic
--Not everyone agrees with you
--Not all white people are r.acist
--R.ape jokes aren't funny
--Suicide jokes aren't funny
--Self harm jokes aren't funny
--Eating disorder jokes aren't funny
--Not all men are trying to oppress women
--Not all feminists are actually fair

Me: *Reading a book*
Person: What are you reading?
Me: *holds up book while continuing to read*
Person: Oh yeah, I read that book! Did you get to the part where ________ dies?

If I listen, I have the advantage.
If I speak, others have it.
— Peruvian Proverb
Good habits result from resisting temptation.
If websites were teenaged classmates:

Tumblr: The creative computer genius/blogger who everyone is jealous of. Most people copy her work.

Twitter and Facebook: Brother and sister, they are the drama king and queen of the school. They will tell anyone who will listen about whatever is going on in their lives. They are known for announcing their statuses at the top of their lungs. They are addicted to their iPhones.

Youtube: A movie making expert who is famous throughout the school. This tech-geek is well-liked and his movies have gone viral.

MySpace: The lonely girl who sits in the back of the class. She knows what it's like to be popular, but unfortunately, she has been long forgotten. No one really knows why she's even there anymore...

Witty: The group of mentally crazy teenage girls. They sit on top of desks in the back of the room in messed-up messy buns, and sweatpants eating jars of Nutella and watching cat videos on their phones and telling jokes before laughing like donkeys and falling off of desks. To escape the awkward moment, they joke slowly out the door (jogging for 27 seconds before becoming too tired) to be married to One Direction and Ed Sheeran. Sadly, they both decline their requests for marriage, and they socially awkward Wittians stumble away to the animal shelter to buy as many cats as they like before flying into the grocery store to buy more Nutella. They want to buy clothing too, however they walk away in shame after seeing the price tags on the items.
Beauty fades, good deeds are permanent.
“Lower your voice and strengthen your argument.”
— Lebanese proverb
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next >
People You Might Like
  • Steve
  • nicolešŸŒ¹*
  • Skimrande
  • Dudu*
  • requiem
  • dontsellyourselfshort
  • Rajsonkar
Newest Wittians
  • neeshamvm
  • thomasshelby730
  • btiedemann287
  • ArchanaDittakavi
  • yRdIqtClTbcQ
  • sNnzXiQIUOY
  • cndCFArxbE