That awesome moment
when someone has already typed in the exact questions for
your homeowrk on YahooAnswers.
Perfect guys don't exi-
Hi I'm Steve and I made witty profiles.
Hi I'm Steve and I made witty profiles.
Oh, my opinion offended you?
You should hear the ones I keep in my head.
You should hear the ones I keep in my head.
So I Went To Starbucks
Today
and the man asked me what's my name
and then I said "Georgia Rose" and then he was like
"Is your daddy a dentist" and then he gave me gum and
was like "I've heard you got a dirty mouth" and
then the guy next to him whispered "I got a dirty
mouth."
Wow,
all I wanted was my Caramel Frappuccino, but it had to turn
into a musical.
Hello, My name is:
Shh...I'd tell
you, but that would give away my secret spy
identity
I have this disease called awesome.
You don't have it
so you wouldn't
understand.
{{What if}}
«one day»
«when you get married»
«you find out your
husband/wife»
«had a witty»
Yes, Facebook.
I do know them.
Do I want to be their friend?
No.
~sandrasaurus format~
>Be 21.
>Girlfriend is 19
>Been dating for months now.
>This guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life.
>He's my new coworker at my company.
>Find out he has no money and no place of residence.
>He moved here for the money and can no longer afford his hotel room.
>I decide to open up to him
>Let him stay in my apartment for weeks.
>Bro is pretty cool
>We play xbox, drink beers, and watch football.
>This continues for months
>Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant
>By tradition, I have to marry her now.
>One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her.
>Joe stayed late at the office for overtime
>I pop the question to my girlfriend.
>She admits Joe r/ped her and the baby is not mine.
>She isn't ready for a commitment after being violated.
>Go home in f/cking rage.
>Throw out all Joe's sh/t.
>Gonna kill Joe when he gets home.
>Joe gets home about 1 a.m.
>As soon as he opens door, I punch him in the face.
>Eyes swell up like a ball of cotton
>He swings at me
>Dodge and sweep his leg
>He falls down
>Go to my room and grab a handgun from my drawer
>Go back to confront Joe
>Joe jumps in his car and f/cking hightails it out of there.
>I haven't seen or heard from him since.
>On the phone a month later with my brother
>He asks why I've been so depressed
>I tell him, If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe,
>I'd been married long time ago
>Where did you come from? Where did you go?
>Where did you come from Cotton-Eyed Joe?
Follow for a follow.
>Girlfriend is 19
>Been dating for months now.
>This guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life.
>He's my new coworker at my company.
>Find out he has no money and no place of residence.
>He moved here for the money and can no longer afford his hotel room.
>I decide to open up to him
>Let him stay in my apartment for weeks.
>Bro is pretty cool
>We play xbox, drink beers, and watch football.
>This continues for months
>Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant
>By tradition, I have to marry her now.
>One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her.
>Joe stayed late at the office for overtime
>I pop the question to my girlfriend.
>She admits Joe r/ped her and the baby is not mine.
>She isn't ready for a commitment after being violated.
>Go home in f/cking rage.
>Throw out all Joe's sh/t.
>Gonna kill Joe when he gets home.
>Joe gets home about 1 a.m.
>As soon as he opens door, I punch him in the face.
>Eyes swell up like a ball of cotton
>He swings at me
>Dodge and sweep his leg
>He falls down
>Go to my room and grab a handgun from my drawer
>Go back to confront Joe
>Joe jumps in his car and f/cking hightails it out of there.
>I haven't seen or heard from him since.
>On the phone a month later with my brother
>He asks why I've been so depressed
>I tell him, If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe,
>I'd been married long time ago
>Where did you come from? Where did you go?
>Where did you come from Cotton-Eyed Joe?
Follow for a follow.
All you need is twenty seconds
of insane courage.
