Best Awk Quotes This Week





do you ever just look at someone and think
"wow, let me take your pants off,"?




 




i had an exam today and to brighten the mood,
i decided to play a game on everyone else. every ten minutes, i would ask for more paper even though i didn't actually need it. the fear in the eyes of my fellow classmates as they thought i was on my 10th page of my essay whilst they were on their first was priceless



 




when i was thirteen my sister had
a boyfriend who had a wicked hot cousin. they knew i found him attractive. so, being the two that they were, they forced jarrod into my bedroom, as i was awtching tv, in just. a. bra.



 
Texting Mom:
Mom:Hi Sweetie, do your (.)(.) still hurt from the optition?
Me: Um.. Mom.. check what you just sent me.
Mom: What? It means eye, right? I saw it on your brothers phone texting his gf, it said 'I love looking at your beautiful (.)(.)
Me: No Mom. It doesn't.
Mom:...





if people winked in real life as much
as they do in text messages, this world would be a really creepy place



 

Dad
if i pay u, will u come out of ur room?



                                    "haha i fuc.ked ur mom last nite"
                                     "shut up dad"
                                   

When I moved to a new school, I talked in a british accent and told everyone I was from England and I had a whole backstory planned and I told people the crappy clothes I wore were the british trend and all cool british people would wear them and long story short those idiots still believe I'm English.
So, my school had a high school talent show and the seniors were making fun of the principle who graduated in the years of '69 because my principle likes to talk about the days back in '69'. The principle was in the room when this was happening and she was actually laughing.. mostly because... she had no idea what the real meaning of 69 was. 
Me: I hate you all.
Cute Boy: -Exists-
Me: Except you.. 
you're cute..
Cute Boy:
Me:
Cute Boy:
Me: 
Cute Boy:
Me:
Cute Boy:
Me:
Cute Boy: 
Me: 
Let me love you.
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