I bought a stethoscope the other week.
So, when I feel like I'm dead and that life is not worth
living,
I put that metal to my chest so I know,
There is still some life left in me somewhere.
"I wonder if killing yourself is the only thing
you can control in your entire life, and thats why its a sin.
Because you're beating God at his own game"
Does it make you feel better when you smack him repeatedly and
leave little bruises on his body. Does it make you feel better
when you throw him on the floor and scream in his
face? Does it make you feel better when you see him
crying saying stop it daddy stop it but you just continue with
your beating? He is two years old, he doesnt know any
better. Is it really neccisssary to beat him like some animal?
Beating I can still re-call the beating. I
remember him firstly whipping me with his knife like sharp belt.
Then his fiery hands against my face, knocking on milk tooth out.
Thank goodness. I wish mum was here. I made the
biggest mistake after that. “Why are you so mean?” I
sobbed. I could taste the sweet metal blood in my mouth. I
swirled the saliva around in my mouth and spat it on his
shoe.
“I mean it’s not like you ever care! If you actually
loved me like your daughter you wouldn’t hurt me so! I
actually have my suitcase packed ready to run away from
you!” I was in agony saying this and as I watched his face
turn from red in fury to green in sickness I ran for my bedroom
and locked the rusty door. I hurriedly finished packing and
zipped up. Dad was waiting for me; I could easily hear his
breathing again. I’ll have to jump from the window and hope
to survive. ‘Cos if I spend one more minute in the stupid
house- I’m gonna d.ie! With all the strength I had I tugged
and pulled the window open. Seconds after that father came
through the door, with a hammer. “OH NO YOU
DON’T!” He yelled.
“You are staying with me and this hammer young
lady!”
I made a jump for it after that. Clumsily falling on my stomach,
who cares? I’ll fix that later. I quickly jump up and leg
it for my life. Over the fence and down a road. At least
I’m free (for now any way)