a lot of my life
has
been realizing
that i
would
cross
oceans
for
people who wouldn't
jump puddles for me
jump puddles for me
oh my god guys i'm in a cafe on
my own and this massive group of popular guys i know just
walked in
i could say hi but im sitting at a table with a laptop and a plate of food the size of asia
i'm actually making a quote just so i look like i'm doing something, not just sitting here a loser.because i am sitting here like a
loser
one of them's walking over in my direction help abort mission abort mission
...
...
he said hey and i was too socially awkward to admit i'm here alone so i said my friends are in the bathroom
which they're not.
because they don't exist.
because they're not real.
i can't just walk out now that'd be too obvious
please tell me they're getting coffee to go or something
JESUS THEY GOT A TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE
WHY IS MY LIFE THE WAY MY LIFE IS
i need to leave right now before they realise i lied about the friends
but i have a coffee
and it's caramel flavoured
and also i have a pie and some chocolate cake
don't judge me, i eat like twelve grown
men
why do bad things happen to good people?
maybe i could take the coffee and leave?
...no it's not takeaway so I'd get arrested for stealing the cup
help help help help help
i wish i could make TARDIS noises and disappear but no
i'm not a time machine
i wish i was a time machine.
abort abort abort
i could say hi but im sitting at a table with a laptop and a plate of food the size of asia
i'm actually making a quote just so i look like i'm doing something, not just sitting here a loser.
one of them's walking over in my direction help abort mission abort mission
...
...
he said hey and i was too socially awkward to admit i'm here alone so i said my friends are in the bathroom
which they're not.
because they don't exist.
because they're not real.
i can't just walk out now that'd be too obvious
please tell me they're getting coffee to go or something
JESUS THEY GOT A TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE
WHY IS MY LIFE THE WAY MY LIFE IS
i need to leave right now before they realise i lied about the friends
but i have a coffee
and it's caramel flavoured
and also i have a pie and some chocolate cake
why do bad things happen to good people?
maybe i could take the coffee and leave?
...no it's not takeaway so I'd get arrested for stealing the cup
help help help help help
i wish i could make TARDIS noises and disappear but no
i'm not a time machine
i wish i was a time machine.
abort abort abort
Too ugly to date attractive people,
Too attractive to date ugly people.
Too attractive to date ugly people.
i
would
never cheat on someone.
I mean someone being stupid enough to date me
is a once in a lifetime
thing
I'm not gonna mess it
up
do
you guys
realize
we
can change our lives any time we want
like you can just go ahead and travel the world,
stop eating meat,
shave your head,
start running,
tell that person you hate why you hate them so much,
confess
your
love
to someone
and kiss them unexpectedly
like why
don’t we do
that?
Grandma:
So do you have a boyfriend yet?
Me: It's time for the jokes to stop.
Me: It's time for the jokes to stop.
How roll call will go
in the future:
Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name.
Teacher: Albus
Albus: Here!
Teacher: Doctor
Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something.
Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione
Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and-
Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up!
Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose
Primrose: Here
Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!!
Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome.
Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning!
Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together!
Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down.
Teacher: Rory
Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow.
Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco.
Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!
Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name.
Teacher: Albus
Albus: Here!
Teacher: Doctor
Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something.
Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione
Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and-
Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up!
Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose
Primrose: Here
Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!!
Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome.
Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning!
Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together!
Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down.
Teacher: Rory
Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow.
Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco.
Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!
Dear boys,
if
she gets shoved into you,
she
likes you
♥
You hear a noise.
It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.
