Some days I can’t stomach the thought of living without you. It
makes me so sick. I’m having one of those days. I keep looking
at my phone hoping you’ll call me to ask me how my days going.
I keep checking FB to see if maybe I’ll see something you
posted. Keep going through your photos, reminiscing because
sometimes it’s the closest thing to keeping you here with me.
Go through memories like it was yesterday. It’s not the real
thing. It don’t even come close. I wish you were here. I miss
you so much. I wish I could just talk to you. Maybe you could
make sense of what’s going on around me. I’m hoping you’ll
greet me in the next life. I just want to see you smile again.
Life ain’t ever been the same since you walked through that
door. I just wish I got to say goodbye.
Some days I can’t stomach the thought of living without you. It
makes me so sick. I’m having one of those days. I keep looking
at my phone hoping you’ll call me to ask me how my days going.
I keep checking FB to see if maybe I’ll see something you
posted. Keep going through your photos, reminiscing because
sometimes it’s the closest thing to keeping you here with me.
Go through memories like it was yesterday. It’s not the real
thing. It don’t even come close. I wish you were here. I miss
you so much. I wish I could just talk to you. Maybe you could
make sense of what’s going on around me. I’m hoping you’ll
greet me in the next life. I just want to see you smile again.
Life ain’t ever been the same since you walked through that
door. I just wish I got to say goodbye.
Dear Megha,I cannot stop thinking about the good times we
used to have together. For so long, simply being in your company
brought a smile to my face. Since we’ve broken up, I have spent
far too much of my time consumed by memories of us. I am
continuously recounting all of the wonderful memories we’ve
shared, and as the days pass by, I have realized more and more
that I can’t see a future for myself without you.I am so
disappointed that we grew apart and ultimately aren’t together
anymore. My heart cannot bear the thought of not being with you,
and I deeply wish to give us another chance. I’d like to talk
to you again, when you have the time. Please reach out to
me.SincerelyVishal
"i never knew what
game you were playing, but i always had to keep score. sometimes you were
sensitive and critical. after the storm, the calm would come. in the
form of reassurance and splendid gifts of adoration. a fight
meant a cuddle later. my tears falling signposted to remorse and
your apologies. there was this pattern with you. bitter then
sweet. cold then hot. always keeping me on my toes, until i
decided to stop."
fastest land
animal
honey hit me where it hurts.
come on, make me feel like dirt.
you think i don't know while i know you do.
just say it ain't so and it'll all be good.
i've been thinking about it lately.
back when your cheeks would flush all rosie.
i think i've lost my touch
i think i'm going to have to change it up.
it's a new passcode,
now i don't answer when you call.
when exactly are you going to catch on?
honey hit me where it hurts.
come on, make me feel like dirt.
you think i don't know while i know you do.
just say it ain't so and it'll all be good.
i've been thinking about it lately.
back when your cheeks would flush all rosie.
i think i've lost my touch
i think i'm going to have to change it up.
it's a new passcode,
now i don't answer when you call.
when exactly are you going to catch on?
just know that i tried my best.
you think i'm heartless and cruel
but all these things you say
i learnt them all from both of you.
i was never the favourite kid.
i must have kept a strong streak in second place.
how could you both make me feel so great yet insignificant?
just know that for the longest time i was living for you.
grades, friendships, barbeques...somehow everything was to make you proud.
i was hanging onto every compliment,
why is it that i could keep count?
when i drew the line. no, when you both forced me to build this wall, it was also for you.
how many things did i keep from you?
how many nights did i wish that you weren't my parents?
how embarassing at my big age i still feel stuck in this place.
just know that i was trying my best.
i didn't respond but still paid all your bills well before the due date.
if i was no longer the quiet kid who did well on their own,
then now i was the distant adult who you could still depend on.
it's so painfully superficial, my heart can't find rest.
you adored the others for merely existing yet scorned at me for failing tests.
i'm sorry for my past self who fought so hard.
surely i could forgive myself for throwing in the towel.
surely they won't notice i've given up on them now.
you think i'm heartless and cruel
but all these things you say
i learnt them all from both of you.
i was never the favourite kid.
i must have kept a strong streak in second place.
how could you both make me feel so great yet insignificant?
just know that for the longest time i was living for you.
grades, friendships, barbeques...somehow everything was to make you proud.
i was hanging onto every compliment,
why is it that i could keep count?
when i drew the line. no, when you both forced me to build this wall, it was also for you.
how many things did i keep from you?
how many nights did i wish that you weren't my parents?
how embarassing at my big age i still feel stuck in this place.
just know that i was trying my best.
i didn't respond but still paid all your bills well before the due date.
if i was no longer the quiet kid who did well on their own,
then now i was the distant adult who you could still depend on.
it's so painfully superficial, my heart can't find rest.
you adored the others for merely existing yet scorned at me for failing tests.
i'm sorry for my past self who fought so hard.
surely i could forgive myself for throwing in the towel.
surely they won't notice i've given up on them now.
and you say that all the time.
i should be grateful.
rushing to help you before you even call.
i'll miss you when you're gone
you say that all the time.
well my eyes sting and my throat feels like it's on fire.
my chest is tight and my narrow shoulders are heavy.
despite your grand promises; i'm still so lonely.
perhaps i'll miss it.
i'll probably miss it.
but it'll be in some deluded, distant way.
the way that traumatic memories are buried in the mind and only the bearable ones linger.
with time i'm sure even those sad nights will glimmer.
so you're right. i'm going to miss this.
some day, some how even this pain will glow.
i should be grateful.
rushing to help you before you even call.
i'll miss you when you're gone
you say that all the time.
well my eyes sting and my throat feels like it's on fire.
my chest is tight and my narrow shoulders are heavy.
despite your grand promises; i'm still so lonely.
perhaps i'll miss it.
i'll probably miss it.
but it'll be in some deluded, distant way.
the way that traumatic memories are buried in the mind and only the bearable ones linger.
with time i'm sure even those sad nights will glimmer.
so you're right. i'm going to miss this.
some day, some how even this pain will glow.
Avoid those who attempt
to establish dominance in relationships by diminishing the
self-worth of others. If they're not willing to commit to
diminishing your self-worth exclusively, you need to move
on.
toxic.
cause if i press this button and re-open this wound, maybe then it'll get to you. but if i say it hurts and you say it again a little louder, how can we expect a different next chapter? we're both at it again, as certain as sunrise and set. sometimes you're cool and i'm too hot. mostly we're just burning red, blowing off steam and becoming who we said we're not. how'd we learn to vent this way? we're childish and immature. even during this argument i want to kiss you just to spite you. but you're getting teary and pouty as you continue to tell me off. we take turns with caving in and tonight i'm the first one 0n my knees. i can never win when you're like this; it makes me feel especially sorry. now eye to eye it's like our demons have left us. we'll apologise, cook dinner and decide what gifts the cash in the swear jar can afford us.
cause if i press this button and re-open this wound, maybe then it'll get to you. but if i say it hurts and you say it again a little louder, how can we expect a different next chapter? we're both at it again, as certain as sunrise and set. sometimes you're cool and i'm too hot. mostly we're just burning red, blowing off steam and becoming who we said we're not. how'd we learn to vent this way? we're childish and immature. even during this argument i want to kiss you just to spite you. but you're getting teary and pouty as you continue to tell me off. we take turns with caving in and tonight i'm the first one 0n my knees. i can never win when you're like this; it makes me feel especially sorry. now eye to eye it's like our demons have left us. we'll apologise, cook dinner and decide what gifts the cash in the swear jar can afford us.
