Best Candy Quotes This Month



A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE
Mini m&m's taste better than normal m&m's.
Don't even try to argue with me on this.




anyone who has ever said that the best day
of their life was their wedding day obviously never has had 2 candy bars fall down at once in a vending machine.



 
Me: Why does water cost more than soda?
Me: Why does salad cost more than a hamburger?
Me: Why does fruit cost more than candy?
Me: Why do vegetables cost more than chips?
Me: Why do workout clothes cost more than cute shirts?
Me: Why do sports bras cost more than regular bras?
Me: Why does spandex cost more than jean shorts?
Me: Why?







Working in an M&M factory
and throwing out all the W's







 
How do 14-year-olds get pregnant
I can't even get a high-five from a guy


 

 

yes, I sneak candy in

the movie theatre. $4 for a box of skittles? my a ss

 

I was at a carnival today,
and this guy bought some cotton candy.
He was really cute, and I wasn't suprised when he walked back to a really pretty girl (you know, the kind that was too good and would not be caught dead conversing with someone of the wittian species).
Being the nosy person I am, I listened in on what she had to say:

Her: This is for me?
Him: Sure.
Her: But it's pink.
Him: What?
Her: I want blue cotton candy.
Him: Fine.

He took the cotton candy and ripped it up and sprinkled it all over her. He rubbed it on her shirt and it was all sticky. He pulled out his wallet and gave the girl some money.
Him: Here. Go buy yourself some more BLUE cotton candy.

He gave her a little more money.
Him: And here is for you to find a ride home.

And then he walked away.

YOU SIR, ARE MY HERO.



Here’s To The Kids.

 
The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke and Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here’s to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here’s to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here’s to the kids who were never too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here’s to the kids who listened to Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here’s to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts. Here’s to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. Here’s to the kids who hum “a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me” when they’re stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here’s to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn’t even know they existed. Here’s to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and didn’t feel so alone after doing so. Here’s to the kids who spend their days in photobooths with their best friends. Here’s to the kids who are straight up smartasses and just don’t care. Here’s to the kids who speak their mind. Here’s to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do. Here’s to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids that are okay with that. Here’s to the kids. This one’s not for the kids who always get what they want, but for the ones who never had it at all. It’s not for the ones who never get caught, but for the ones who always try and fail. This one’s for the kids who didn’t make it, we were the kids who never made it. The overcast girls and the underdog boys. Not for the kids who had all their joys. This one’s for the kids who never faked it. We’re the kids who didn’t make it. They say “breaking hearts is what we do best,” and “we’ll make your heart be ripped out of your chest.” The only heart that I broke was mine, when I got my hopes up too high. We were the kids who didn’t make it.
 

We are the kids who never made it.
 
NOTMINE/SWEET






          I wanna be really hot and sexy
          but I really want that York Peppermint Patty





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