Best Cats Quotes This Week

*My conversation with my mom*
Me: I am 100% postive I haven't met the person I'm going to marry.
Mom: How can you be so sure?
Me: Because I'm destined to live alone with 43 cats all named Steve.
Mom: Why would you name them that?
Me: It's an inside joke.
Mom: With who?
Me: ...Myself...
Me: *Feels the shame radiating off my body*

GUYS. I FIGURED OUT WHY WE ALL HAVE CAT OBSESSIONS.
We obviously have friends because we share common interests, right? Well look at this great non-biased research:

Cats: Sleeps all day, parties at night, eats, sleeps, not socialable, hides when people are near
Teenage Girls On Witty: Sleeps all day, parties at night, sleeps, not socialable, hides when people are near

I am a genius


I wanna be a panda
bear so 'freakin bad,
eAT ALL OF THE BAMBOO I NEVER HAD
I WANNA BE ON THE COVER OF ZOO MAGAZINES
SMILING NEXT TO ZEBRA AND THE PIG
OH EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES
I SEE MYSELF BLACK AND WHITE
A DIFFERENT ZOO EVERY NIGHT, OH I SWEAR
THE WORLD BETTER PREPARE
FOR WHEN I'M A PANDA BEAR
Apparently my little seven year old cousin made a club
at school called the “no friends club” and basically everyone who
doesnt have friends sits together at lunch holy sh.t hes going to be
the next leader of the free world 
my dad thinks that I have a boyfriend
my dad: 
so what is your boyfriend getting you for valentines day?
me: probably a dead mouse or something
my dad: I've heard of that... isn't it some band that you like?
me: no dad, I mean a dead mouse like in my bed
my dad: ........
me: the cat dad the cat is my boyfriend



Did you know that cats rub their faces
against things


that they claim as their territory so if they rub against your face
you've just been named an honorary member of that cat’s family
like wow thank you cat





BravoSierra's format

 
                                                just so I can see those mystical birthday cats everyone talks about.
 






Rapper: I be f*cking all dem b*tches
Rapper: Smokin all dem blunts
Rapper: Gettin drunk every night
Rapper: F*ck all ya!
Rapper: *Gets an award*
Rapper: I'd just like to thank God.









UsinMr Parker
 
♥ Logan ♥
C h a p t e r  38

For around half a minute, I waited outside nervously. I kept asking myself why he wasn't answering the door straight away like he usually does and then, he opened the door.
There was no smile on his face, no smirk or no frown, his expression was as hard as a brick. We stood there, opposite each other for a few moments just staring, his eyes boring into mine and then he spoke. “Come in.” I walked inside his apartment and took a seat on the couch. He surprised me by coming and sitting next to me. I didn't think he'd do that, I opened my mouth to say something – anything but nothing came out. Zach laughed unhumourously, “This is so screwed up.  I honestly have no idea what to think anymore."
Z-Zach,” I murmured and was surprise when he didn't correct me for not using 'Mr Parker'. “I owe you an apology. I am so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happ-”
Then what did you mean to happen, Logan? Just enlighten me.”
I just... I just wanted my mum to not need to worry about money. This was 5 grand that I could at least try to get, I didn't think I'd win and I never thought Courtney was going to get hold of that picture.”
Well guess what she did.”
And I'm so sorry but you won't need to worry about that now.”
What if she had got the photo that you could see both of us clearly? What would happen then.”
I don't want to think of that, she didn't and its over.”
That might be over but we aren't. We still have lots of things to talk about.” When he said, that might be over but we aren't,  my heart fluttered and my cheeks burnt but I knew he didn't mean it in the way I wanted it to.
I'll answer any questions you want,” I told him.
Simply, he asked, “Why?”
I've told you how my dad left my mum and I a couple of years ago and I've always told you that a couple of months ago we moved in with my Aunt Cassidy because the council took the house away from us. Since then, I've been trying to help my mum get any extra money. I've sent my mum money anonymously with money my dad sent me and money from my car. To you, five grand might be nothing but to me, thats a lot of money.” I reached into my bag, picking out a bundle of money.
Five thousand dollars.

Whats that?” he asked.
Thats the money Courtney gave to me, I don't want it. You can have it,” I replied, putting the money on the table. “That money is nothing but filth to me now. It may have taken me a while to realise how horrible I was using you like that. I can't give that money to my mum.”
Zach sighed, “I don't want that money. Give it to your mother.”
No,” I said, firmly.
Give it back to Courtney then,” he said. “I don't care what you do with the money, I don't want it though.” I didn't say anything but I didn't take the money. Zach leant in slightly and I hoped that he kissed me. I leant up and put my lips on his, my eyes fluttered open for a split second to see his wide open.

He wouldn't kiss me back. 

Want a reminder? Comment. 
Teaser: "I'm in love with you." 
{A/N This chapter was actually really hard for me to write, I had no idea how I wanted this chapter to go but here it is! (:}

 


Someone: says the word 'food'
Me: somehow gains 10 pounds
 
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