Best Clever Quotes Today







It's funny how if you get an A
on a test, your grade goes up like 2 percent, but if you get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.





 


 
If Taylor and Harry were still together and I saw them:

Taylor and Harry: *making out*
Me: *gasp*
Taylor and Harry: *look at me*
Me: You're that guy from that Pepsi commercial and you're all like "and I'm Herreh!" I love that commercial!
Harry: Err, thanks.
Me: And you! You're the one that dated Joe Jonas and Lucas Till!
Taylor: *nods and smiles*
Me: And Taylor Lautner! Oh, and John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal!!
Taylor: *stands there awkwardly*
Me: Oh! And that guy from Glee, umm, Cory Montieth! OHH and Zac Efron! And Eddie Redmayne! 
Taylor: Uh...
Me: Oh, and I can't forget Connor Kennedy!! ...Dang, that's a lot of guys... *looks at Harry* Good luck, bro. 
Not meant to offend either swifties or directioners. just thought it was funny. Follow me and I'll follow back, duh.
*When I'm on Omegle*

Stranger: 19, male, England, looking for older women.
Me: Harry, get off Omegle.







I wonder if clouds ever look
down on us and say "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot".







 









Unless you physically see me
opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.





 



 







You hear a noise.
It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.







 
Me: Taylor Swift is a bad singer. Do you agree? 
Siri: I have no comment. I do not want a song written about me.

not mine. not meant to offend swifties, just thought it was funny. follow for a follow.







Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Gravity, mom.










They only care if your quote is pretty
or says, 'This quote does not exist'.







I have this weird self-esteem
issue where I hate myself, but I still think I'm better than everyone else.







 
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