A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE
I
think old fashioned is cute.
I think kisses on the cheek
& forehead, actual dinner dates
and asking
someone out in person is a lot more romantic. I don't think
the guy
should always make the
first move, but I feel as if it's cuter if the
guy asks out the girl rather than the other way round
because it's
been like that for so long. I liked it when the guy
actually valued
their girlfriend and
called her 'sweetheart' instead of
'babe'.
omfG
SO
TODAY IN
PHYSICS THIS GIRL’S
PHONE WENT OFF
AND HER RINGTONE
WAS SHINE
BRIGHT LIKE A
DIAMOND AND MY
TEACHER STOOD UP
AND SAID TURN
THAT THING OFF IF I
HEAR IT AGAIN
I WILL PERSONALLY
TRACK DOWN
RIHANNA AND EXPLAIN
TO HER THAT
DIAMONDS DO NOT
SHINE THEY REFLECT
PHYSICS THIS GIRL’S
PHONE WENT OFF
AND HER RINGTONE
WAS SHINE
BRIGHT LIKE A
DIAMOND AND MY
TEACHER STOOD UP
AND SAID TURN
THAT THING OFF IF I
HEAR IT AGAIN
I WILL PERSONALLY
TRACK DOWN
RIHANNA AND EXPLAIN
TO HER THAT
DIAMONDS DO NOT
SHINE THEY REFLECT
i
was in line at target
just trying to buy some
ice cream and this
baby was screaming its soul out.
Anyways, the mom turned
around and looked
me straight in the eyes with the
most monotone voice and said
“birth control….
Use birth control…”
just trying to buy some
ice cream and this
baby was screaming its soul out.
Anyways, the mom turned
around and looked
me straight in the eyes with the
most monotone voice and said
“birth control….
Use birth control…”
a lot of my life
has
been realizing
that i
would
cross
oceans
for
people who wouldn't
jump puddles for me
jump puddles for me
one time
i put my mum’s bras on a
ceiling fan because i though it’d be a
funny prank but then some
people came over to look at the
house and i didn’t have
time to take the bras down so
when my mum turned the fan on bras
flew all around our kitchen and
landed on the people and like
no one wanted to say
anything so we acted like
bras weren’t strewn across all of us
this one time
in sixth grade i was waiting for
my bus because it was
late and this girl was
cleaning out her locker and a
teacher was helping her and
all of the sudden the teacher started
screaming and the girl started
crying and all i heard was “
YOU HAVE A GOLDFISH LIVING
IN YOUR LOCKER??!!”
