My dad died when I was 7 years old.
I used to never be able to even say "dad" to anyone.
I was scared and kind of jealous of everyone that got to ever say it.
And at some point, I just stopped talking about him.
Recently, I've been sharing a lot of information about him and talking about him freely.
And now that I'm in college, I guess it just hurts less to talk about him.
I do not hate you. I dislike you.
Dad.
When you are supposed to be there,
your supposed to be there for me.
I am not your friend, I'm your daughter.
You don't leave her for 5 years like any other.
And come back. You are supposed to care for her.
Your own blood. Your own daughter here.
Stands at ground, she needs another shoulder to cry on.
She needs to understand, you are there too. Not only mom.
But you spent so many years apart, you don't even know her.
Maybe 30 years later, you don't realize that's your beautiful daughter.
You have a duty. Wasn't that to protect her from all the boys?
No. You didn't, she created a barrier around her.
Showing she hated men. She hated men, because she thought
they would leave her like her father. Unfaithful because..
If you were always loyal and faithful, you would be forever behind her.
Ready to catch her as she stumbled and fall. You left her to wonder.
If you existed. Dad, people called you a coward. But the girl you see.
She had defended you, even if you left her.
They called you a coward, she called you her father.
In kindergarten, he wasn't even there to see me off.
She was there everyday.
In third grade, I believed all his lies, he was my favorite parent.
In third grade, I believed all his lies, he was my favorite parent.
She was too bossy.
In sixth grade, he understood everything, he was my best friend.
In sixth grade, he understood everything, he was my best friend.
She didn't understand anything.
In seventh grade, I figured it out, he's a fake.
In seventh grade, I figured it out, he's a fake.
She knew what was yet to come.
In ninth grade, his whole world flipped over.
In ninth grade, his whole world flipped over.
She stood behind me.
In the next summer, he had no clue I tried to end my life.
In tenth grade, I recieved my diagnosis. He said it doesn't exist.
In the next summer, he had no clue I tried to end my life.
She strived to keep me alive.
In tenth grade, I recieved my diagnosis. He said it doesn't exist.
She tried to understand the differences in people.
And here I am in eleventh grade, mad at myself for believing his lies for all too long.
Mad because I wasn't worth the truth, mad because I made a fake of him,
mad because he caused my mental disorders and he doesn't care.
And here I am in eleventh grade, mad at myself for believing his lies for all too long.
Mad because I wasn't worth the truth, mad because I made a fake of him,
mad because he caused my mental disorders and he doesn't care.
Mad because I treated her so bad for so long, mad
because it took me so long to figure out,
mad because bad things happen to good people, mad because she always had my back,
mad because she has always been my biggest supporter.
I'm so sorry Mom, I love you more than anything.
Don't leave me.
mad because bad things happen to good people, mad because she always had my back,
mad because she has always been my biggest supporter.
I'm so sorry Mom, I love you more than anything.
Don't leave me.
My childhood
Me: I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Me: It's not funny I'm actually hungry.
Dad: What do you mean its snot funny?
Me: Okay can I go on the computer?
Dad: No I need to call your mother, hungry.
Me: I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Me: It's not funny I'm actually hungry.
Dad: What do you mean its snot funny?
Me: Okay can I go on the computer?
Dad: No I need to call your mother, hungry.
I've always had a
pretty tough exterior and had a pretty stiff upper lip but these
past few weeks I've realised just how fragile the human body
can be and how a tough ones mind has to be to overcome obstacles
life hands us but sometimes it can be to much even for the
strongest of folks.. my tough exterior has broken and my stiff
upper lip has turned into watery eyes and a quivering chin as I
feel helpless while watching my poor pappy fight this tough
fight.
Adventures of my Dad
Episode #6: Toilet Texting
*My dad decided to text me while on the toilet*
Dad: U need to start getting ready 4 the concert.
Me: Ure gross.
Dad: Tnks. Thts a good thing right?
Me: Ew stop texting me from the toilet dad
Dad: I AM ON MY THRONE
Episode #6: Toilet Texting
*My dad decided to text me while on the toilet*
Dad: U need to start getting ready 4 the concert.
Me: Ure gross.
Dad: Tnks. Thts a good thing right?
Me: Ew stop texting me from the toilet dad
Dad: I AM ON MY THRONE
My dad said because I don't talk about my feelings
like most girls, that must make me a boy.
XD
XD
One day my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew
up.
I said a photographer.
He laughed a bit then said "No as in a job,
you can do that as a hobby but what do you want to do for a job?"
"Ok, well, I don't know" and now when anyone asks what I want to do when I grow up I just say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure"
I said a photographer.
He laughed a bit then said "No as in a job,
you can do that as a hobby but what do you want to do for a job?"
"Ok, well, I don't know" and now when anyone asks what I want to do when I grow up I just say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure"
