when
somebody
provokes your anger, the only reason you
get angry is because you’re holding on to how you think
something is supposed to be. You’re denying how it is.
Then you see it’s the expectations of your own mind that
are creating your own hell. When you get frustrated because
something isn’t the way you thought it would be, examine
the way you thought, not just the thing that frustrates you.
You’ll see that a lot of your emotional suffering is
created by your models of how you think the universe should be
and your inability to allow it to be as it
is.
iT's wHen You HiDe THinGs
that
you
choke
on them.
© format coded by: br0kenwings
Please don't remove this, or make it invisible!
Please don't remove this, or make it invisible!
Me: I don't know how to do
this.
Person: Here, I can show you--
Me: NO! I'll figure it out.
*an hour later*
Me: *sighs with defeat* I need helllllppp.
Person: Here, I can show you--
Me: NO! I'll figure it out.
*an hour later*
Me: *sighs with defeat* I need helllllppp.
No matter
how
much
I try
telling
myself
that
I don't
care,
talking to you will always make my day a whole lote better,
so that tells me I still do. <3
talking to you will always make my day a whole lote better,
so that tells me I still do. <3
When someone compliments
me:
Alright....who paid you?
Alright....who paid you?
Rejection doesnt hurt,
Expectation does.
Lies dont kill,
Denial does.
Denial does.
Forgetting doesnt heal,
Forgiveness
does.
Format Credit:
USMarineCorps2013
Work in
Progress*
"...Strike-
A match against my heart
Yet quickly you deny that spark
You lit it,
And left it there to die,
Oh why, is it
So hard to admit?
Maybe that's just it,
You're a quiter,
Gave up on everything
A let down, a sell out...
I guess it isn't hard to leave
But maybe if you turned and saw me
Standing here
Maybe if you stood without a trace of fear
It wouldn't be so hard to stand
A pillary of what we used to have..."
"...Strike-
A match against my heart
Yet quickly you deny that spark
You lit it,
And left it there to die,
Oh why, is it
So hard to admit?
Maybe that's just it,
You're a quiter,
Gave up on everything
A let down, a sell out...
I guess it isn't hard to leave
But maybe if you turned and saw me
Standing here
Maybe if you stood without a trace of fear
It wouldn't be so hard to stand
A pillary of what we used to have..."
It hurts. Everything just hurts. It's not numb, it's not in
the background anymore, it's everywhere and everything.
It's all I think about. It overtakes anything. It kills me
slowly from the inside, and I don't always know how to cope. I
can't eat anymore, it hurts so much when I do that I almost
black out. I am so close to relapse everyday that it scares me, and
I have once come so close to a relapse that I just screamed
instead, I pushed everyone away, and I just sat there. I just sat
shaking, trying to calm down alone. It sounds like the worst thing
that you could do, but when I am alone - Like, all alone - I can
clear my mind. I can stop it all. I can deal with it, without it
being chaos. Because when it's chaos, I can't cope. When I
can't cope, I relapse. And if I do end up relapsing, I know
I'll break. I'll break, and I refuse to do that. Not when I
still have some control left. It might not be much, but if I let go
of that... No, I won't let go of that. I have done things I am
not happy about, but I can't let go, not just yet. I will keep
trying, whether it's for the next few days, or the next few
months, I will keep trying until I can not hold on. Then, and only
then, might I let go, give in. Relapse, stop causing hate and guilt
and disappointment to those around me. Just let it all take over.
Let it end. Let it all stop and end and be over.
That will be my relief.
One day.
That will be my relief.
One day.
You desired my attention but denied my affections.
