Best Dont Quotes This Week



My mum complained that I've never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger.

Apparently, it was the wrong one.





When british people try to sound american, they either sound like a stuck up snotty girl from a movie, a ghetto rapper from the streets or an uneducated surfer from california.



Don't call a girl
S|ut if she's wearing short shorts
A b-tch if she's proving a point
A flirt when she's just bing nice
Obsessive when she's just in love

                  Hush little laptop
                 
                 don't you cry

 
                                           mama's gunna find you some more wifi.
Me about everything: I literally don't care


do you ever roll up your sleeves to wash your hands and
one of the sleeves starts slipping down like it's
attracted to the water and all you can think is “dont you f/cking dare”



 instead of making jokes or rude comments about someone you can
• not do that
me: i know it's your first time
me: but i know just how to work you.
me: *turns on new laptop*
Stop scrolling.
Please don't cut tonight. I love you.
Okay. Continue.


To Mom:
Mom, Where is my backpack?
What's for dinner?
Did you find the remote?
Can you buy me a iphone?
Can you sign this test I failed? 
Can you drive me to my friend's house? if I had friends lol
Why did you have to pass ugly genes to me?!

To Dad:
Where's mom?
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