Best Family Quotes This Week




a lot of my life

has been realizing that i would

cross oceans

for people who wouldn't

jump puddles for me



 
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in
my family, so on must be Chinese. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But, I think it's Colin.
so my sister just randomly out of nowhere texts me, "hey do u want some pizza rolls i accidently made 80"

80.

80.


80.


 
Todays some a//hole on
my bus decided that
it would be hilarious to take this boys shoe and start throwing it around. The bus driver got really angry and threw it into that little thing under the bus where you put your bags (I don't know what it's called.) You see, the bus driver thought the shoe belonged to the a//hole. The boy who's shoe was stolen (let's call him Bill) shouted out "Stop the bus!" and ran up to the bus driver so he could retrieve his shoe. The bus driver told Bill to sit at the top of the bus. Bill is my one of my best friends' brother. He is bullied constantly. My friend moved further down the bus, to hide the fact that she was crying from her brother. I moved down to sit beside her and she explained the situation. Her brother has Autism and other mental and physical disabilities. He was threatened numerous times. Someone even put a lighter to his face and threatened to kill him.Bill thought they were being nice to him. Their parents have no idea about this. From where we were sitting, we could here the people who had been making fun of Bill, laughing and joking about him. My friend started crying when they said a particularly nasty comment. 
And then, the quietest girl on our bus stood up, turned around to face them and shouted; "Shut the f//k up you f//king a//holes."
The people who had been mean to Bill just stared at her, completely stunned. My friend started crying because she was so grateful. Other people on the bus started to agree with her and started shouting at the a//holes.


Guess what Witty?
That girl?
Was me...


Shoutout to the kid that whispers 
the answer 

to you when the teacher calls on you but you weren’t paying attention







Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Gravity, mom.









Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
I want to hit you with my car 
Throw you off a tree so high

Hope you snap your neck and die









When butterflies fall in love
Do they feel people in their stomachs?







 
My mom is crying because she accidentally hit a turtle while driving
So now we're having a funeral...for the turtle. 
me: I'm cold
dad: hi cold, I'm dad
*dads of the world unite in uproarious laughter*
People You Might Like
  • Steve
  • Dudu*
  • mariah_love1369
  • halfempty
  • Skimrande
  • tornedsoul*
  • DJ*
Newest Wittians
  • Lindasib
  • BobbyeriStUsh
  • Lewisuhagab
  • ThomasovCok
  • Buffka
  • cosmetictattooingbrisbane
  • Clarazkaaroca