Unless
you
physically
see
me
opening a tampon, don't just
assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because
that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I
will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the
backyard.
You hear a noise.
It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.
Me: Taylor Swift is a
bad singer. Do you agree?
Siri: I have no comment. I do not want a song written about me.
not mine. not meant to offend swifties, just thought it was funny. follow for a follow.
Siri: I have no comment. I do not want a song written about me.
not mine. not meant to offend swifties, just thought it was funny. follow for a follow.
Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Gravity, mom.
Imagine getting married.
After many months of
planning,
you're standing at the altar with your signifigant
other.
You're in a beautiful room filled with all of your
friends and family.
And every single person in that room over the age of
10
Knows your
getting
laid
tonight.
I have this weird self-esteem
issue where I hate myself, but I still think I'm better than everyone else.
I wanna be a panda
bear so 'freakin bad,
I WANNA BE ON THE COVER OF ZOO MAGAZINES
SMILING NEXT TO ZEBRA AND THE PIG
OH EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES
I SEE MYSELF BLACK AND WHITE
A DIFFERENT ZOO EVERY NIGHT, OH I SWEAR
THE WORLD BETTER PREPARE
FOR WHEN I'M A PANDA BEAR
