I'm that friend that has to walk
behind the group when the path isn't big enough. I'm that friend
that gets cut off in the conversation. I'm that friend that
doesn't get invited to hang out a lot. I'll always be that
friend.
Friend: Beauty sleep is such BS. I sleep 12
hours a day and I still look like a trashcan. Me: But a very cute trashcan. Make all the other
trashcans go BANGBANGCRASH
Me: I'm so ugly. Ohmygosh I have no talents
or friends. I hate myself, I'm gonna die in a cardboard box
one day. Me: Back the f//ck up, b//tch. I'm the
queen, roll out the red carpet for me. I'm the best person
ever. Later, peasants.
I hate it
when you're not in the same mood as
your friend
like when you want to slay your enemies and feast
on their flesh and your friend wants to dance in a field
of daisies and sing for the sake of singing like no stop
that grab a pitchfork.
These two kids in math class were hitting each
other with pencils
and my teacher glared at them and said “Could you try to be a little more
mature?” So one
of them screamed “TAXES”
and punched the other kid in the face