Funny Quotes

I hate it when I'm on the treadmill and accidentally hit the stop button and go to chipotle and eat a burrito.

midas_strong
funny

Describe your s6x life using SpongeBob quotes:

Me: Are you ready kids?

Gpc11
funny

What makes is me laugh is that we compete for superiority when we're really all just the same thing:
a mushy fist-sized organ controlling a bag of meat.

6 0

awkwardo
funny

An SQL query walks into a bar. He goes to two tables set beside each other and asks:

"Can I join you?"

3 1

brain56
funny

Stop telling me that my interests are just a 'phase'.

Stop telling me that all my depression, all my problems are just 'hormones'.

Stop telling me that I do not know what I want emotionally at the moment but expect to decide on the type of career I'll want for the rest of my life.

Stop treating me like a joke and telling me that everything I feel, want and have is not valid until I graduate high school, get a boring job and live a boring life filled with enough materialistic stabilities to start taking my emotions into consideration for once.

6 0

awkwardo
funny

"truth or dare"

"Dare"

"Order us pizza"

6 1

midas_strong
funny

What do you call the font used in Braille?

Sans Oculus.

2 1

brain56
funny

After much research and consideration about adulthood, I've decided it's not for me. Thank u for the opportunity.

4 1

midas_strong
funny