Funny Quotes

Hometown: The Shire
School: Hogwarts
Current City: Atlantis
Employer: Captain Jack Sparrow
Husband: Hiccup Haddock
Pet: Dragon

*does this not sound like the best?
It's only 10:47 in the morning and my family has woken me up by singing happy birthday to me
It's not even my fu*king birthday

My dad's pedophile friend is back at my house and I wonder how he'll feel if I throw an egg at him
 
because guys that I fall for are always like
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE PERFECT AND MINE AND 5EVER YEYEYE
BUT WAIT LET ME JUST TELL THIS TO ONE MORE GIRL
AND YOU WON'T KNOW BUT IF YOU FIND OUT OH WELL
YOU WON'T CARE COS YOU'RE ALREADY FALLING FOR ME AND YOU FINK EVERYTHING'S FINE
WAITWAITWAIT LET ME JUST PUT LESS EFFORT IN OUR CONVO'S
THAT'LL KEEP IT GOING
OH NOW I'LL PRETEND LIKE YOU DON'T EXIST
WOOPS THE OTHER GIRL DROPPED ME 
NOW THAT YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING OVER ME I'LL CRAWL BACK
AND DO IT AGAIN
BUT YOU'LL BELIEVE IT YAY
yeah.
 
Sanity is best judged

 by those who lack it.


any girl to her dad in any tv show ever: i'm not your little girl anymore dad


 

If you have watched boy meets world with cory and tapenga you will like them as parents and their son augi and daughter riley and best friend like a daughter mya and farkle and lucas lol cool.show on disney chanel
When your parents try to set you up with their friends' kids
My heart says yes
My min
d says no
M
y eyes say yes
My mout
h said no
He
probably hates ME
He
picks me up when I fall
My bes
t friend will possibly become my boyfriend........................................ MAYBE...
When our phones fall, we panic.
When our friends fall, we laugh.
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