Funny Quotes

Why do you want to be when you grow up?
The true chasm you struggle to cross is that of how to correctly pronounce the word 'chasm.'
It isn't that I'm not a cat person, it's just that I'm not a cat person person.
Life on Earth is based on carbon.  In that sense I definitely qualify as carbon neutral.
The questions are more important than the answers

... right?

LASIK Poem

Boys don't make passes
At girls who wear glasses
But in his dreams every boy seduces
A girl with laser-assisted in situ keratomileusis

I stand by my principles.  The fact that I stand several feet away from them with my face covered is purely a health precaution.
I'll have a mixed reality with a tangy vinaigrette.
There are √-4 sides to every √-1 story.
Better a femme fatale than a femme coupure de papier.
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