Funny Quotes

The bean counts the bean counters.

The thought of machines becoming self-aware is frightening – because it means I might have to become self-aware too.

In a leap year, 96 additional people get their 15 minutes of fame.

A word of warning if you go to see an opera: it's NOT necessarily over when the fat lady sings.

Before surrendering to it, be advised that temptation is not a signatory to the Geneva Convention.

Familiarity breeds contempt?  Gee, I never heard that idea before.

Just the fact that you would tell me you can rock my world rocks my world.

I would never violate a trust.  Any relations I had with that trust were strictly consensual.

That it’s lonely at the top begs the question of what the mountain is made of.