Funny Quotes

She walked into my life like a shopper walking into a closed sliding door an hour before the store opens. 
... Wait, the F in MILF doesn't stand for fathom???
A nasal cavity for a nasal cavity makes the whole world anosmic.
I had a threesome last week. 

... (OK, three onesomes, but it's algebraically equivalent).
My French girlfriend says she wants to make love with me in Crème Fraîche.  Where in France is that?
It's been a year since I've been on here and so much has changed and i cant believe how childish and crazy i seemed. I started to delete a few things then realized this is all apart of my progression and its interesting to look back on how i used to be. Moving forward I hope i continue to chnage into a much better person for myself, my family and my future family.<3
I've finally stopped blaming everything on my mother.  I bought a chaise longue to recline on while I'm blaming everything.
A man or woman is truly successful to the extent he or she dedicates himself or herself to a life serving others or otherettes.
The hand that feeds you is more nutritious than what you're being fed.
Don't mind me. Me, to my mind
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