Funny Quotes

Avoid panic buying.  Depending on interest rates, it's often more cost effective to lease panic instead.

After 8 years I'm back
I'm 21 now
I'm gay
Anybody still use this thing???

Risk management?  With pleasure!

A sexual what? – Responding to a job applicant's statement that she's asexual

I'm not scared of public speaking, as long as it's not a scary public that speaks.

The time?  It's about twelve o'pocalypse.

Seize the day. 
Constrict the day. 
Swallow the day whole.

I've fixed the bugs in my time machine prototype.  Next step: get the idea to build a time machine prototype.

I love you airconditionally.