Funny Quotes

This is incrdible to me. The last post I had on this site was from 1,922 days ago. This is my first login in since then. And absolutely nothing has changed.  
In my experience, 'stop, drop and roll' works for way more situations than just being on fire.
There are plenty of seas in the fish.
I went to a tourist information booth and said "Tell me about some people who were here last year."
The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms
Things I overheard at uni, 6.
*Reads 2011* Twothousand eleventeen
Things I overheard at uni, 5.
If you wanna commit .., this really is the place.
Things I overheard at uni, 4.
Putting in effort is too much effort.
Things I overheard at uni, 3.
"I almost cried."
"Almost? You wére crying."
Things I overheard at uni, 2.
Earthquakes only happen to bad people
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