Funny Quotes

Now that nobody wears them anymore, nothing happens at the drop of a hat.
Gird one's loins phr.  To prepare oneself for a challenging task (for example, the task of girding one's loins).
The Law of Times.  It's the best of times plus the worst of times times 1/(the total number of times) pretty much all the time.
Listen more than you speak, sniff more than you listen.
Throxymoron n.  A three-way oxymoron (ex. 'work-life balance').
I feel schadenfreude, but about me.
Whatever doesn't kill me – on the contrary, whatever has more than once saved my life.
You say 'evasive action' like there's some other kind.
Whenever I hear folks talk about gender, I'm thankful we don't have any in this country.
7 years on wittyprofiles.
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