Halarious Quotes

I'm sooo pretty i am not even real
#my nieace

Stop pretending to be a

 &+saying it makes life sooo hard

Because it's soo annoying
Summer School=Sucks
Vacation= Soo Funn

Hello, My name is:

Jake From State Farm

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.


Sometimes I wonder how many
miles I've scrolled my cursor...


I got kicked out of Chuck E.
Cheeses. Apparantly, it is frowned upon to dress up in a giant mouse costume, crawl under a table, and grab kids' legs shouting: "If you want to see your precious little mouse again, give me all your arcade tickets!"
The lava lamp was worth it, though.


This world is not going to make
any progress until we stop encouraging the belief that 'paper' beats 'rock'.


How is suspension a punishment
for skipping classes?


My doctor told me to watch my
drinking. So, I'm off to find a bar with a mirror.

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