Halarious Quotes









"If there are any idiots in the room,
please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose to his feet. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."







 









Never trust an atom,
they make up everything.







 









I named my daughter after my
mom's mom. 'Grandma' is such a beautiful name.







 








Dear Middle Finger,
Thank you for always sticking up for me when necessary.





 


 









I took 4 years of Spanish in high
school and 2 more in college. I got straight A's in them because I already speak Spanish and just pretended to learn in class.







 









Lists of things ain't nobody got
time for:
1. That





 


 









If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly,
then why exactly did it fall off in the first place?







 









I just realized why they call it
"The mall". Instead of going to one store, you go to "them all". Them all = The mall.
Clever...







 









I am so excited, I finished a jigsaw
puzzle in 6 months- and the box said 2-4 years!





 


 









Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood
like reality.







 
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