There are many definitions for the word "family", I
know it seems simple enough, I mean people use the word all the
time, you would think there was one clear definition. But there
isn't. Many different people veiw it in many different ways.
some see it as just the people you are related to by blood,
others say blood means nothing and family is the group of people
who you deeply care for and return the love, other people say its
a mix of both. Well my grandpa had this saying that went like
this, "There are no steps, no halves, and no in-laws, well
there might be a few out-laws but you love them anyways. Family
is Family." I didnt know till I was nine or ten that he was
actualy my step-great-grandpa, and that most of my great aunts
and uncles werent actually related to me. Because well we were a
family, the possibility of us not being a family never occured to
me. Those people dnever had to treat me like i was their niece,
or their granduaghter, or their cousin. But they did. Because we
all lived by grandpas saying. We were a family. In fact right now
there is a woman who is living with us for the time being, and
well I dont really know her that well, she came out when
grandpa's cancer started to take a turn for the worse and she
needed a place to stay, we have a little extra appartment type
thing attached to our garage so we happy to let her stay here
with us. Now she was my Grandpa's daughter, I just met her
wheh she came out here about two months ago. And there was
one night that her, my mom, my aunt Carla, and I all stayed up
talking, and my mom and aunt brought up our uncle Sam who was
Teddie's (THe woman staying with us) brother. And she looked
at my mom and said "Well you shouldnt know him. He's not
actually part of your family, hes not blood related to you."
And my mom looked at her and said "He is still Grandpa's
son, and still our uncle, just as you are still our aunt. Blood
doesnt make up family." Now that was the about the second
night she was staying with us. Now she comes over for dinner
every night, sometimes she makes dessert, she comes over randomly
in the day just to talk. And let me tell you that womans love
language is gifts, she has a great eye for size but as for style
or taste thats another story. But we still love her, and she is a
great addition to our family, you would never be able to tell
that we hardly knew each other because we treat her the same as
we treat everyone else in our family, because she is, blood or no
blood.
Then there is my best friend who is defiantly family, now dont
roll your eyes at me and be all "Well duh shes your best
friend of course you're going to see her as family." She
really is my family. About a month and a half ago, my dad was in
a serious accident that he almost didnt live through, now my
friend was on vacation in England which was one of her main
dreams in life. So there was no way i was going to message her on
facebook and be all "Hope you're enjoying England, oh
yeah by the way the man who's presence scares you is in the
hospital and doctors dont think hes gonna make it." I knew
that would ruin her vacation. and I couldn't do that to her.
Then after what seemed like forever she finally got back from
England and life was good. I hadnt gotten the chance to tell her
what was going on with my dad yet, and well I didnt have to, mom
posted something on facebook, that she saw. Which ended in phone
calls with her yelling at me that I should have called or texted
or something, and how i was the worst friend ever, I tried to
support my case by saying but you were in England and you arent
that fond of my dad. And she came back with "I dont care if
i was in England! Your dad is way more important! I know i find
him intimidating but he is still your dad! Therefore I care about
what happens to him" ANd well that conversation ended with
many apologies from me, and her saying she was going to slap me
next time she saw me, which ended up being two days later, a week
after my dad was admitted to the hospital. I told her and the
other friends i wasnt sure if i should go because there was news
that my grandpa might not make it the rest of the day. But
finally my parents, and aunts and uncles, convinced me it would
be good for me to get out of the house, so I went. When I got
home there was the familiar faces of the boys who used to
basically live with us last summer. they had moved to Utah and
were on their way from Utah to St. Louis and thought theyd stop
in and say hi. I hung out with them for a bit before that dredded
phone rang telling us to get to my grandmas house ASAP. The boys
and their mom left after a few quick good-byes. We walked into my
grandmas house which was next to my great grandma and grandpasw
house. we were greeted by her telling us that he was gone. I want
sure what to do. I immediatly ran to the bathroom and locked
myself in there. not sure what to do. I called my best friend
'cause thats what seemed right, the only words in the
conversation were "Hello?" "He's gone"
And then i burst into tears. She dealed with me for the about 20
minutes where i sat and cried before someone finally knocked on
the bathroom door and I had to go. If she isnt part of my family
i dont know who is. As i opened the door. I was met by someone
who again wasnt blood related at all, and not even a step-family
member, but family none the less. He immediatly brought me into a
hug, and told me he loved me and everything was okay, grandpa
wasnt hurting so we should be happy. And if you're wondering
what male figure i just let hug me and tell me he loved me, That
would be Brian, someone who is practically my older brother. He
goes to my church, and is about 6 to 7 years older than me, he
has been a big part of my life for as long as i can remember, he
comes over to my house almost every thursday to hang out and have
dinner. He has a messed up home life and has said that my
family is what he dreams of in a family, and what he wants to
someday be a part of a family like ours. Now he doesnt just mean
my immediate little family, you know my parents brother and
sister, he means my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my grandma. he
loves my family, just as much as we love him (well we might love
him more there are like 16 more of us ;) ).
And well i guess this is how i view family, Its really just about
any body who makes an impact in your life, even if you're not
too fond of them they are still family. Like the quote by grandpa
says, you still love the out-laws.