Eyes Open
Douglass
The snow storm got worse and worse
as we trudged to the orphanage. The wind was racing directing in
our direction and I could barely open my eyes to see through the
snow. I felt Jacob trembling in my arms and his small face was
cold against my neck. I, too, was shaking, but not from the cold.
I had a sinking feeling in my chest, like the world was going to
crash down on me like it did long ago. I think back of what
happened and I feel like it wasn't my fault that it happened.
I was just caught into the mess. But no one cared to listen to my
cries and they didnt believe me so they sent me away. I hate
thinking of the past sometimes. It brings back the worst of my
memories and feelings. Almost as if my mind is replaying what had
happened that night just to remind me or even foreshadow what may
happen to me in the future. God, I can't deal with my
emotions sometimes.
"Hey!" I snap out of my head to Nat's voice
struggling through the wind, "It's too cold to keep
going like this. We need to find a place to rest." I look
back and see Nat trying to sheild her face from the icy wind and
trying to stay on her feet as she sank into the snow with every
step.
We reach a corner of the street and I look up and squint to see
where we are. I wish I had my glasses but there was no time for
sulking over stupid mistakes like that. Farllon
Street, I read. I knew this place quite well and in
fact, I grew up here. "I know where we can stay for a bit.
Follow me."
We walk up to an old shotty apartment building that caught fire
by the black markings near the windows and door. It was rotting
down and the windows were so old they still had bars, unlike the
new, fixed up apartment building that ran alongside it. I walk up
the concrete steps and open up the mailbox, which was overflowing
with letters and newpapers. I cleaned it out and felt around for
the key at the bottom, then openned the door.
"What is this place?"
"Oh just an old shelter for yours truely. Havent been here
in awhile though. Come in."
As soon as we walked in we were blasted with a moldy stench that
made Nat tear up a bit. I was kind of use to it but it didn't
make me feel any better about having people in here. "Sorry,
about the smell."
"It looks like this place has been abandoned for years. But
it's better than staying out in the cold." she replied
walking into the living room. A worn out tan couch completed with
rips and tears plus dust sat against the grey wall that chipped
right across from an old dinosaur television covered with dust.
There was an old smelly carpet in the middle of the room under a
rotten, broken coffee table. There was dirt all over the wood
floors and it was dark. The lights didnt work and neither did the
water. I looked to the left and there was the kitchen dirty just
like everywhere else accompanied by a nasty sink and a rusty old
oven. The sink was filled to the rim with rotten food and dirty
dishes and the table still had a slice of pizza on a paper plate.
The slice was burnt and moldy and the plate was droopy and kind
of folded down the middle. The chair was not pushed in unlike the
others.
I feel my heart twist and I shake my head and walk back into the
living room where Nat was standing looking around yet trying to
not tamper with any contaminated substances. "This
place is kind of gross. How long since you've thought about
spring cleaning?"
"Never really thought about coming back here." I said
as I walked down an old dark hall into the bathroom. I looked at
the sink that still had old crusty toothpasted oozing down the
molding white banks. The seat on the toilet was down and on top
of the seat was an old snapback hat. I opened up the cabnet and
there was an emptied out bottle of advil and alieve, a small tub
of hair gel that was half emtpy, a rusty razor and a comb. I
closed the cabnet and saw myself in the mirror. Its
weird how much I have changed since that night, Doug. How did it
come to this? I looked into my eyes and moved to my
face. I attempted a smile. Only half my face curled up and the
other half twitched and fought itself to be the same. My nose was
crooked and my left eyebrow was slightly parted at the end. My
eyes were permanenty squinted from never wearing my glasses that
I've needed yet lost so long ago. I wondered if they were in
my old room, but I stopped myself from opennig that
door.
I walk down up to a door and opened it. I took out a bucket
filled with cleaning supplies and walked into the living room.
Nat was seated next to Jacob who was lying down ontop of her
jacket on the couch, sleeping, tears rolling down his
pain-sticken face. She looked up at me, her hair was frizzy and
wavy from the snow and her face was rosey all over from the
biting wind. Her stormy eyes looked down at the bucket and back
up to me, "Need some help?"
"You don't need to, bra. Like i said, I've never
said your name."
She smiled and rolled her eyes, "Well, buttmuncher, you look
like you need some help cleaning up a bit."
She stood up and took the mop in her hand and poked me with it
and laughed. I smiled, "Why are you so weird?"
"You're the one to talk, weirdo. Now lets get
started."
***
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