I
decide that
I want you to be happy with whatever you do
And wherever you are, I'll be thinking of you
I want you to be happy with whatever you do
And wherever you are, I'll be thinking of you
matutine
(adj.)
\ ˈmachəˌtīn \
of a star: just before the dawn
(adj.)
\ ˈmachəˌtīn \
of a star: just before the dawn
As for you and your heart and the things you said and didn't say,
she will remember them all
when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits
I am always dreaming,
even when I'm awake;
it is never finished.
I wasted so many years being miserable because
I assumed that was the only way to be.
I don't want to do that anymore
I still feel your breath on my skin
I hear your voice deep within
the sound of my lover
There's this guy at work that I have known for almost 3 years
now. I always thought he was cute, but then I started seeing
someone (also from work).
Then after the company's Christmas dinner this guy came up to me & grabbed my hand. I told him to get his friend some water as he had just thrown up. (They were all drunk and I was the DD) I didn't really think much of him trying to hold my hand, despite me being in a relationship with someone else.
After a few months my SO and I went to an OpenAir concert where this guy from work was with his friends. At first I didn't even realize what was happening around me as I was pretty drunk myself. But then at some point I realized that he was holding my hand again. I tried holding it up to check if maybe he would let go as I was not "holding it back". Didn't work. & didn't really care at that point. A few months back we were at a festival where we ran into him as well, but nothing happened there. Except for the part that I realized that I might to start crushing on him.
Another few months go by and the next christmas dinner was happening. I was no longer in a relationship, but we remained friends. At this point we hadn't really told anyone yet about the break up. So we sat at the table with this guy and we told him. & I also told him that no one would get mad anymore, if he should try to hold hands again. He had his thinking look on his face & after a moment he said: "I can't promise anything."
So after the dinner we all decided to go to the bar. By now everyone was pretty drunk. I started to cling onto him & since he didn't seem to mind I continued doing so. I hooked my arm with his, gave him random hugs and by the end of the night he even hopped on my back. This was the point where I started crushing on him hard.
I started to ask him to have a drink, to hang out, to go drive around, to the movies, etc. pretty much any idea I could come up with to spend time with him. To my surprise he almost always said yes, if he said no it was because he already had other plans, but always "made it up" to me by setting up another time.
During this time he spend a few weeks abroad for work. On the second business trip he added 2 weeks of vacation. Before he'd left for the second trip we talked about his vacation and he was telling my about him going to NYC for a few days. Turned out that he was going alone, so I saw my chance and jokingly said I could join him as I had already put in my vacation days.
So a few weeks later I met him in NYC. We had a few amazing days together, but on the "love-side" nothing really happened. Although, he was always really caring about me.
Then after the company's Christmas dinner this guy came up to me & grabbed my hand. I told him to get his friend some water as he had just thrown up. (They were all drunk and I was the DD) I didn't really think much of him trying to hold my hand, despite me being in a relationship with someone else.
After a few months my SO and I went to an OpenAir concert where this guy from work was with his friends. At first I didn't even realize what was happening around me as I was pretty drunk myself. But then at some point I realized that he was holding my hand again. I tried holding it up to check if maybe he would let go as I was not "holding it back". Didn't work. & didn't really care at that point. A few months back we were at a festival where we ran into him as well, but nothing happened there. Except for the part that I realized that I might to start crushing on him.
Another few months go by and the next christmas dinner was happening. I was no longer in a relationship, but we remained friends. At this point we hadn't really told anyone yet about the break up. So we sat at the table with this guy and we told him. & I also told him that no one would get mad anymore, if he should try to hold hands again. He had his thinking look on his face & after a moment he said: "I can't promise anything."
So after the dinner we all decided to go to the bar. By now everyone was pretty drunk. I started to cling onto him & since he didn't seem to mind I continued doing so. I hooked my arm with his, gave him random hugs and by the end of the night he even hopped on my back. This was the point where I started crushing on him hard.
I started to ask him to have a drink, to hang out, to go drive around, to the movies, etc. pretty much any idea I could come up with to spend time with him. To my surprise he almost always said yes, if he said no it was because he already had other plans, but always "made it up" to me by setting up another time.
During this time he spend a few weeks abroad for work. On the second business trip he added 2 weeks of vacation. Before he'd left for the second trip we talked about his vacation and he was telling my about him going to NYC for a few days. Turned out that he was going alone, so I saw my chance and jokingly said I could join him as I had already put in my vacation days.
So a few weeks later I met him in NYC. We had a few amazing days together, but on the "love-side" nothing really happened. Although, he was always really caring about me.
I'm sorry for leaving
I'm sorry with one foot out the door
I'm unapologetically sorry for everything
...
Maybe more than anything, sorry you love me
What's the allure
of inconsequential love?
