Best Humour Quotes This Week



"When you getting married to your girlfriend?"
"I would have already...if it weren't for her family."
"Her family?"
"Her husband and 2 kids."






I want to get a job at starbucks
so I can spell everyone's names wrong so they can't instagram their cups.
 


I got pulled over earlier for "texting while driving".

Stupid policeman, I wasn't texting!

I was playing Snake.



 
When people blame me being angry on my period I just say:

"I started my day waking up in a pool of blood. I could end yours the same way if you like?"
When someone doesn't favourite my quotes

on witty.

It can only mean one thing,

This person, has no sense of humour

whatsoever.
Dark humour just isn't everyone's cup of liquidized dead body.
Periods are so un-predictable!!
One day you can be totally fine, the next you can wake up with your bed sheets looking like the Japanese flag!!
Just saw this on Yahoo Answers:




Yahoo! Answers

Resolved Question


My printer won't print gifs properly? 
i'm trying to print a .gif file, but whenever i print it out, the picture doesn't move? am i doing something wrong?
 

.......................................................................................................................................

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters


f you want it to move, you must print it out on a used tampon, after printing it on the used tampom wait exactly 49 seconds. After 49 seconds pass you need to carefully spread salt on the printing then just wait for the magic!

JLS are like their condoms. They split.


What came first..
The EGG.
Or the CHICKEN?

 
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