Gale Force 12/13 winds;
Americans: HOLY UNICORN MOTHER OF THE SLOTHS ITS A HURRICANE LOCK
YOUR DOORS BOARD THE WINDOWS GET DOWNSTAIRS HURRICANES ATE MY
BRAIN GET IT ON THE NEWS BROADCAST IT EVERYWHERE ITS LIKE
GODZILLA BUT WORSE
Shetlanders: Oh wow look the house moved because of the wind,
lets walk the dogs, and go to tescos, the boad probably won't get
here for a few weeks and tescos will have to hire another army
plane to fly our food in for us, oh f;&uck where did the phone
signal go, I had to phone my friend and ask if she wants to go
surfing
(Currently, it's gale force 12 outside my house, on the tiny
island Shetland, where no-one gives a dmn we're isolated and the
weatherman from the mainland genuinely said 'it's hurricane force
winds in the Shetland Islands but we won't chart it because
they're uninhabited.' I don't mean to offend Americans or
anything, we just get this weather a lot and don't see it as an
issue to get worked up over.)