Illness Quotes

Diseases have names.  Cures are anonymous.




I saw something today
on Facebook about how Linkin Park's symbol has changed and is now missing the sixth side in its hexagonal shape because of the loss of Chester Bennington, as each piece represents an individual member of the group, and it made silent tears run down my face as I sat there looking at my phone thinking about how terrible it all is. It's terrible that people kill themselves because they think no one would miss them or notice if they were gone, but the truth is, things are never the same afterwards. The people whose lives you were in or whose lives you touched never feel complete again, there's no replacing you because no one else is a perfect fit to the mark you left behind. And that holds true for anyone who dies, whether it's by suicide or any other way. I just lost my grandmother to cancer and there is an unfillable empty space in my life now. And the thing that really got to me and made me emotional today upon seeing that post, was that she wanted to live. She loved her life, she was a happy, resilient, energetic, passionate woman who was rarely seen angry or upset, and when she was, it was for a damn good reason. She was always on her feet, always traveling somewhere and looking forward to something, she laughed at almost everything anyone said and always had something encouraging to say to someone who needed it. She wanted to live. She wanted to keep living, and she wanted to keep giving life to others. But she fell ill and she was taken from us, from me much sooner than she should have been. Then there's people whose bodies are perfectly healthy but their minds are not, and so they take themselves from their loved ones, they leave when they could have stayed. A mental health battle can be just as tedious and painful as one with a bodily disease, it's every bit as deserving of treatment and support. Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't. Please, don't take a strong body for granted. Seek help for your struggling mind so that it can be healthy, too. Because some people's physical health gets stolen from them in the blink of an eye, and sometimes there's nothing anyone can do to recover that.... But it's never too late to learn to change or manage your thoughts and coping methods. It's rarely easy, but it's always possible. Do not give up. Some people don't even have the luxury of a choice between fighting and letting go. I wonder, if my grandmother hadn't passed before him, could she have saved Mr. Bennington by talking to him and listening to him? I think she might have. She seemed to have that gift.

Mental illness may feed of you, but you do NOT feed of mental illness. YOU were there before it and you will be there after it. It may take a while, it may take more than once, but all things that are worth it do.
Keep breathing x

#mentalhealthawareness

you'll never find
peace of mind
until you listen
to your heart

I created this account to anonymously document my experiences as a depressed bipolar adult who suffers from anxiety and PTSD.
My posts will not be pretty or funny, but a real life depiction of what it is like to live with these debilitating mental illnesses.


My background:
I am a 24 (almost 25) year old caucasian female from North America. I am engaged with no children, only pets. Three years ago, my father passed away unexpectedly, shortly after which I ended my six year relationship with my lying, cheating, abusive ex. I moved back home to live with my stepmother and two brothers, and in that time, I thought I found myself. I was happy, fun, and enjoyed life. Two months later, I entered a new relationship (my current one), and was extremely happy for one month. After that, on my now fiance's birthday, a girl wrote Happy Birthday on his Facebook wall, and I lost myself. My jealous and rage kicked in, and over the past two years, it has only worsened. Since that day, we have gone off all social media, and left all our friends behind to focus on each other. We are not individuals at all.

In November of 2015, I was diagnosed with Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, and PTSD. I was prescribed medications by my psychiatrist and have to see a counselor every week.

My current mental state is very unstable. I am once again feeling very suicidal, and have not been taking my meds. I cannot focus, I always hate myself, and there are days where I get so mad at my fiance for talking about other girls, one in particular.

Every day is a struggle to get out of bed and live. I wake up most days and wish I hadn't.

Current status: I want to kill myself. Everyone in my life would be so much happier and better off without me. My mom wouldn't have to worry, and my fiance could have all the girlfriends he wants.
Wouldn't it be nice if mental illness didn't exist?

Living with mental illness means that on some days it will be even harder to cope and you might not be able to explain why. It could be because you havent slept enough, because a smell reminded you of feeling sad, or for no reason at all.

This is a reminder that we dont have to justify our feelings or abilities to anyone, just do whats needed to make it to the next day.


Why can't mental illness
be like any other kind of sickness
where you go to the hospital
and your loved ones come
and give you flowers
or balloons
and tell you that they love you
and hold your hand
and make sure you get better?

why doesn't that happen
instead of
awkward silences
and embarassing tears
and messy bedsheets
and a bunch of other stuff
no one actually talks about?


                               It gets hard
                                                         with everyone calling you brave
                          when you've never been so scared
                                                                                                                   in your life..
Confession 34
I posted a letter about how I felt about my mental illness on tumblr,
It got over 300 notes and I started crying.
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