.....
I miss you so damn much.. I can't stop crying.
.....
3
years ago today is the day that I woke up from a terrible sleep
and realized that all I saw and heard the night before wasn't
just a nightmare. Everything happened fast, so unbelievably
fast.. It was the worst day of my life. But that's a selfish
thing to say when my brother isn't here anymore because it
was the worst day of HIS life.
So far, time hasn't healed a thing, and to think where we all were 3 years ago, it seems like a brand new wound yet.
Nothing is promised, and nothing should be taken for granted. Not for one single moment.
So far, time hasn't healed a thing, and to think where we all were 3 years ago, it seems like a brand new wound yet.
Nothing is promised, and nothing should be taken for granted. Not for one single moment.
Bunnylover43 Format
How do you let go
of someone who made you smile but commited suicide?
You cry constantly and forever.
You find no meaning to anything you used to love.
You find no meaning to anything you used to love.
You simply just CAN'T let go.
I'm Feeling
Lucky»
.....
I don't need the 4th to know I've gone 16 months without you in my life.
I feel your absence everyday.
I feel it when I go shopping, when I eat peanut butter, when I go through the McDonalds drive-thru, when I hear Luke Bryan or Hunter Hayes on the radio. I feel it when I read short stories and when I watch scary movies and when I straighten my hair or just driving down any back road. I feel it when I pass my math tests and drink Dr. Pepper and when I take a swig of our ultimate favorite alcoholic drink and eat mint tic tacs.
So much of our friendship consisted of such small everyday things, It's hard to do much of anything and not think of you and the fact that you're supposed to be here but you're not and I just can't deal with that today.
.....
today marks half a year,
six whole months, that i've spent on earth without my best
friend; my father.
i'm proud of myself that i've made it this far, but going the rest of my life without him seems impossible.
we didn't know he was sick, there was no way we could've known according to the coroner. he had just helped me move into college five days before he died & four hours before he died i texted him telling him that i was okay and making friends; it was like he waited to know i was alright. he found a way to tell me happy birthday from beyond the grave. i can feel him here with me every single day, but i really want to see him one more time. he always hugged me and made the tears stop when i was hurt, but now i feel so broken and there's no one to make me feel safe. my anxiety has sky rocketed but i'm trying my hardest to get through each day. it's so weird every night not hearing him come home from work, it's so weird being in the house without him; everything is so different. but i've made it this far, i will keep going. i just miss him.
to everyone that has lost a parent- i'm here if you ever want to talk, we can cry together.
to everyone that still has their parents- please cherish every moment, life is so unfair.
32057†12114
i'm proud of myself that i've made it this far, but going the rest of my life without him seems impossible.
we didn't know he was sick, there was no way we could've known according to the coroner. he had just helped me move into college five days before he died & four hours before he died i texted him telling him that i was okay and making friends; it was like he waited to know i was alright. he found a way to tell me happy birthday from beyond the grave. i can feel him here with me every single day, but i really want to see him one more time. he always hugged me and made the tears stop when i was hurt, but now i feel so broken and there's no one to make me feel safe. my anxiety has sky rocketed but i'm trying my hardest to get through each day. it's so weird every night not hearing him come home from work, it's so weird being in the house without him; everything is so different. but i've made it this far, i will keep going. i just miss him.
to everyone that has lost a parent- i'm here if you ever want to talk, we can cry together.
to everyone that still has their parents- please cherish every moment, life is so unfair.
32057†12114
three months ago, my hero was granted his wings.
at this time three months ago, we were planning his
funeral years before we thought we'd have to.
there hasn't been a day within these three months
that i haven't prayed to wake up and have him back.
i've gone three months without my dad.
& it's been the three worst months of my life.
but what i miss the most
is having someone to text at 3 in the morning
when i'm sick or too upset to sleep
We Use To be Best
Friends. We stuck together through whatever. Now we
arent nothing but old friends with so many great memorys. What Id
do to be friend with you again be close again like we use to be.
hang out everyday like we use to, I miss
you.
You know what it feels
like?
Its like there's a hand reaching right inside of you,
grasping your heart and tearing it into a million pieces.
It's like every time I think of him
it feels like I'm winded,
all the air in my lungs is knocked right out of me.
There were so many more things I wanted to say to you,
we were going to get married and move into a house in the countryside
with a pool, two kids and a dog
and we were going to grow old together.
And now we can't.
It's that simple.
I would give anything to just spend one more day with you,
we could go to that clearing in the woods that you loved
and swim in the lake and lay out under the stars,
just watching the world go by.
You would lean over and kiss me
and I would tell you how much I love you
and how I never ever want to be apart from you.
You see, the thing is, if it had all ended in a fight,
at least I would have gotten some closure
and understood why it had to end,
but now I'm just left with the thoughts
of the infinite possibilities of whatcould have
been.
It reminded me so much of when my mom died,
my dad stood above her, beating her again and again
and there was nothing I could do about it.
I couldn't save my mom and I couldn't save the love of my life,
some of this must be to do with me,
so I'm so so very sorry.
I can't even put into words how much I miss you
and it makes me cry every time I try,
but don't feel bad.
It wasn't your fault.
Please don't drink and drive,
it costs lives.
John Jacob Rollins
3/7/1997-5/10/2013
I love you xx
Its like there's a hand reaching right inside of you,
grasping your heart and tearing it into a million pieces.
It's like every time I think of him
it feels like I'm winded,
all the air in my lungs is knocked right out of me.
There were so many more things I wanted to say to you,
we were going to get married and move into a house in the countryside
with a pool, two kids and a dog
and we were going to grow old together.
And now we can't.
It's that simple.
I would give anything to just spend one more day with you,
we could go to that clearing in the woods that you loved
and swim in the lake and lay out under the stars,
just watching the world go by.
You would lean over and kiss me
and I would tell you how much I love you
and how I never ever want to be apart from you.
You see, the thing is, if it had all ended in a fight,
at least I would have gotten some closure
and understood why it had to end,
but now I'm just left with the thoughts
of the infinite possibilities of what
It reminded me so much of when my mom died,
my dad stood above her, beating her again and again
and there was nothing I could do about it.
I couldn't save my mom and I couldn't save the love of my life,
some of this must be to do with me,
so I'm so so very sorry.
I can't even put into words how much I miss you
and it makes me cry every time I try,
but don't feel bad.
It wasn't your fault.
Please don't drink and drive,
it costs lives.
John Jacob Rollins
3/7/1997-5/10/2013
I love you xx
I saw your sister today
We were just walking along a path and she saw something that reminded her of you
I think we must have sat on that bench for hours just staring in to space and crying a little and thinking of you
Oh gosh I miss you so much
Please just come back to me?
We were just walking along a path and she saw something that reminded her of you
I think we must have sat on that bench for hours just staring in to space and crying a little and thinking of you
Oh gosh I miss you so much
Please just come back to me?
