Jesus christ that's a pretty face
contrary to popular belief
blazin' it up 24/7 doesn't make you cool
nor does spending all of your
money on the sh/t instead of
necessities for the house
that just makes you an outright a/shole
and i sincerely send a f/ck you your way
So, someone got me sick. And
I've got Satan flowing out of my nostrils and little devils
tickling the back of my throat. I need an exorcist or something.
Seriously, people, I need the power of christ. I'm
scared.
Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is
watching me and judging me and they're
going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your
ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you
Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money
out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right
spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy crap why am I so
annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I
like this, holy crap. whyyyyyyy
Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont
want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're
probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your
ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you
Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money
out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right
spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy crap why am I so
annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I
like this, holy crap. whyyyyyyy
Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont
want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're
probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
*Sister and
Mom having intense conversation about Jesus Christ*
Sister: I still don't understand how Virgin Mary was a virgin, if she had Jesus.
Mom:
Sister:
Mom: Maybe she was stoned.
Sister: For nine months?
Me: So the mother of Jesus was on drugs when she had Jesus?
Me: That doesn't seem right.
*we are not christians* *true story*
Sister: I still don't understand how Virgin Mary was a virgin, if she had Jesus.
Mom:
Sister:
Mom: Maybe she was stoned.
Sister: For nine months?
Me: So the mother of Jesus was on drugs when she had Jesus?
Me: That doesn't seem right.
*we are not christians* *true story*
Me: You
can't buy happiness.
Him: No, but you can buy icecream. And that's like basically the same thing.
Him: No, but you can buy icecream. And that's like basically the same thing.
