Joke Quotes

A female officer arrests a drunk, she warns him, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."
T
he drunk replies b.oobs.
Me: why did sarah fall off the swing?
Friend: why?
Me: she had no arms.
Friend: ...
Me: ...
Friend: ...
Me: knock knock!
Friend: whos their?
M
e: not Sarah!!
How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.
 

 
Go to bed early Fridays.
Do homework Saturdays.
Go to work then do more homework Sundays.
Hate your life and go back to college Mondays.

 



 
I just...

I just don't think you understand

How frustrating it is

To look this good.

 



 
If I told the truth 100% of the time...
I'd say the exact same things, foh. 

 



Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
When you see yourself under the "People you might like" section at the bottom of the witty page.
Like omg how did you know?
An SQL query walks into a bar. He goes to two tables set beside each other and asks:


"Can I join you?"
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