one time I overslept and my mom came into
my room to wake me up
and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be
rushing”. I wanted to say
“if I’m rushing then so be it”
but since I was still
half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to
“Russian”,
I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet”
and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever
made