happy birthday to me, since no one else is saying it to me (which
is more upsetting than I thought itd be.)
N
ostalgia was not meant to
be something repetetively
experienced; at least not in
the way many people use it.
I don't want to live a life in which I'm constantly thinking about the good times
and desiring to go back to them.
I want to look back, be grateful for the experience, and also be grateful that I am happy now. There is no point in turning
back to the past. There is good now. You know more now. Your life is now. Live it the best you can. Soon, these will be the days you'll remember fondly.
recently, when I bend over, a clear liquid runs from my nose.
looks so much like water. and I'm paranoid, so I google it. every
result? brain fluid or allergies. THIS IS NOT HELPING THE
PARANOIA.
I'm stuck between missing someone I shouldn't, and missing
someone I ain't ever had. why? I don't know but it is sad and
harshing my mellow.
Happy New Year!
my mom gets drunk and then goes off on a long tangent
about me being r.aped. I wish she would stop it, honestly. I
don't like knowing I'm part of the reason why she
drinks.
I really need to set up my desktop,
because mobile is ridiculous (I'm just
a whiney child who finds phone difficult
to multi-task with) and I've been going
to facebook to run my mouth instead
of witty and I made everyone hate me.
lmao. it is actually sad for me.
because mobile is ridiculous (I'm just
a whiney child who finds phone difficult
to multi-task with) and I've been going
to facebook to run my mouth instead
of witty and I made everyone hate me.
lmao. it is actually sad for me.
And maybe, just maybe, this is my chance to move on and finally
let everything go. To let go of the tasteless fights and the pain
I bore for months on months on months. To let go of the nights he
made me feel absolutely worthless and told me this was my fault.
To let go of what I stupidly believed was true love, because we
so desperately wanted it to be so. To finally let go of him, and
his toxic behavior that in the end only dragged me down. Maybe I
can laugh again and stay up all night listening to love songs,
thinking about someone else. I will dance the night away with
them and make everlasting memories, and hopefully these ones
won't ever haunt me. I can smile when I hear his name and not
be afraid to show the world my feelings for him. Maybe this is
the start of something new, something different, and something
more wonderful than I have ever experienced.
I'll spend
my whole
L i f e t i m e,
with your
L i f e l i n e
wrapped around
MY throat
