I want rich people problems.
Like where to park my yacht.
Me: Motherfu*ker
Dad: *walk in* You called?
Friend: When I was little I saw no tears baby
shampoo and squirted it into my eye, I swear I went blind for 3
days.
Me: But did you cry?
Me: But did you cry?
Home is where you fully
understand how the shower works.
The guy who created
knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
What do
you
call
a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Imagine this;
You're at the club and you're dancing as sexy as you can.
You feel someone come up behind you.
They wrap their arms around your waist and begin dancing with you.
You can feel their curls against your neck,
and they whisper in your ear,
"I want you so bad right now, love."
You turn around to look at them and it is
Susan Boyle.
follow for a follow.
Home alone.
You break down,
letting out everything.
Crying as loud as you can.
Your family comes home, and
here you go. Fake a smile, fake a laugh
Pretend it's okay. They don't suspect a thing,
They don't suspect their child is broken and falling apart.
