We all have times when we go home at night and pull out our hair and feel misunderstood and lonely and like we’re falling. I think the brain is such that there is always going to be something missing.
"I finally understood what true love meant. Love meant
that you care for another person's happiness more than your
own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be. The
first time you fall in love, it changes you forever, and no
matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes
away."
— Nicholas Sparks, author of The Notebook
Hello
everybody!
I just wanted to let you all know that I turned 20 years old yesterday. Seven years ago I told myself I wouldn't live past age 15 because I never thought I would make it past the state I was in. My life is nowhere near perfect. My family is broken, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I struggle with my faith. But I am still alive and breathing to this day. Please stay strong. God is so good. He is the truth and the way.
I just wanted to let you all know that I turned 20 years old yesterday. Seven years ago I told myself I wouldn't live past age 15 because I never thought I would make it past the state I was in. My life is nowhere near perfect. My family is broken, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I struggle with my faith. But I am still alive and breathing to this day. Please stay strong. God is so good. He is the truth and the way.
I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we've suffered enough.
every experience, choice, decision
makes you a human being.
& I T
S U C K S K N O W I N
G
t h a t
i ' l l n e v e r b e
g o o d e n o
u g h
for someone like y o
u
For anyone that comes across my future ventings, here are some
boring facts about me.
1) I am a loner. I have no friends.
2) I was depressed/reclusive during the first 20 months upon graduating high school.
3) I am not afraid to dig into my past. It's something that I madly obsess over.
4) I love my dog, Brownie. He has been part of my family since 2007.
5) My one friend in high school tried killing herself last month. We met up after she was discharged from the mental hospital. Then I left her house, drove to the parking lot of a grocery store, parked there and cried for an hour.
6) I'm an English major. Blame my 6th grade teacher for influencing me to love reading.
7) I constantly fall asleep with makeup on.
8) I noticed that I get too comfortable with myself once the heat returns after the cold seasons. Like how I spontaneously grabbed scissors from my kitchen and chopped 10-12 inches of my hair in springtime of 2013, 2014, and 2017. Short hair feels liberating.
9) I have terrible eyesight.
10) I don't really think of myself as a feminine or girl-ish person. I think that my attitude on the gender binary is that it rewards certain traits then makes one feel like a failure if one doesn't fit them. I hope we all learn to understand one another and support people of all types and appearances.
1) I am a loner. I have no friends.
2) I was depressed/reclusive during the first 20 months upon graduating high school.
3) I am not afraid to dig into my past. It's something that I madly obsess over.
4) I love my dog, Brownie. He has been part of my family since 2007.
5) My one friend in high school tried killing herself last month. We met up after she was discharged from the mental hospital. Then I left her house, drove to the parking lot of a grocery store, parked there and cried for an hour.
6) I'm an English major. Blame my 6th grade teacher for influencing me to love reading.
7) I constantly fall asleep with makeup on.
8) I noticed that I get too comfortable with myself once the heat returns after the cold seasons. Like how I spontaneously grabbed scissors from my kitchen and chopped 10-12 inches of my hair in springtime of 2013, 2014, and 2017. Short hair feels liberating.
9) I have terrible eyesight.
10) I don't really think of myself as a feminine or girl-ish person. I think that my attitude on the gender binary is that it rewards certain traits then makes one feel like a failure if one doesn't fit them. I hope we all learn to understand one another and support people of all types and appearances.
Life gives
you trials
and
if you look
at them as
a problem
and not an
oppritunity,
then you
will never
truly flurish
into the
person you were ment
to be.
j u n
e a p p r e c i a t i o n s
~
the wind. the sun. the sky. the moon. the stars. my friends.
the way he smiles. the way my freind's laugh. the way he
talks to me. the way my friends say 'i love you.' my theater.
music. poetry. roses and the smell of flowers. dancing kids.
the sound of lullabies. wind chimes. soft acoustics. singing.
smiling. loving and enjoying life.
these are my j u n e a p p r e c i a t i o n s ~
the wind. the sun. the sky. the moon. the stars. my friends.
the way he smiles. the way my freind's laugh. the way he
talks to me. the way my friends say 'i love you.' my theater.
music. poetry. roses and the smell of flowers. dancing kids.
the sound of lullabies. wind chimes. soft acoustics. singing.
smiling. loving and enjoying life.
these are my j u n e a p p r e c i a t i o n s ~
