Best Lmfao Quotes This Year






          Me: *whispering* If you're stupid say "what".
          Friend: What?
          Me: OH MAN.
          Me: OH
          Me: JESUS CHRIST.
          Me: I GOT YOU SOOOO GOOD.
          Me: THAT WAS AWESOME.
          Me: I'VE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
          Me: IN YOUR FACE.




That awkward moment when you are trying to explain a song but you don't wanna sing it.
i think rupert grint is the only one who truly understand the meaning of being a celebrity
he bought an ice cream truck
he has two donkeys named shakespeare and pandora (and minature pigs!)
he built a mini ice-rink
a Mini fitted with special Lamborghini doors
a hovercraft
he’s got unicycles and banjos
and he bought a coin-operated fairground fortune-telling machine
 
tell me he isn’t living the life
                                                     
                                                      Friend: 
i think my cat is allergic to cats
                                                      Me: that sounds pretty CATASTROPHIC
                                                      Friend: i hope you get arrested for that

I GOT ASKED TO DO MORE
(Changing the word "wand" to "willy")

Now Harry," said Lockhart, "When Draco points his willy at you, you do THIS." He raised his own willy, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling action and dropped it. Snape smirked as Lockhart quickly picked it up, saying, " whoops, my willy is a little over-excited."
I like all Harry Potter puns, whether they're Sirius or just plain Riddikulus
Harry Potter is a lot funnier when you change the word 'wand' to 'willy'.

'Your willy, Lucius. I require your willy.'
'I...'
Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, her long, blonde hair hanging down her back, but beneath the table her slim fingers closed briefly on his wrist. At her touch. Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a willy and passed it along to Voldemort, who held it up in front of his red eyes, examining it closely.
'What is it?'
'Elm, my Lord,' whispered Malfoy.
'And the core?'
'Dragon- dragon heartstring.'
'Good,' said Voldemort. He drew out his own willy and compared the lengths.
Lucius Malfoy made an involuntary movement; for a fraction of a second, it seemed he expected to receive Voldemort's willy in exchange of his own. The gesture was not missed by Voldemort, whos eyes widened maliciously.
'Give you my willy, Lucius? MY willy?'
in 4th grade we were making clay pots in art and our teacher kept saying “make them thinner! those are too thick they won’t work” so we made them thinner and when she put then in the kiln they all exploded and she told us it was our fault because we made them too thin and if that doesn’t describe the school system i don’t know what does

guys are like
i dont want much
but she has to have
-big boobs
-big butt
-nice eyes
-nice tan
-tattoos
this ain't build a bllitch workshop. you get what you get, and you dont throw a fit.
"big boobs don’t count if you’re fat"
 
yeah well bIG DICKS DONT COUNT IF YOU ARE ONE
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