Harry Potter is a lot funnier when you change the word 'wand' to
'willy'.
'Your willy, Lucius. I require your willy.'
'I...'
Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight
ahead, quite as pale as he was, her long, blonde hair hanging
down her back, but beneath the table her slim fingers closed
briefly on his wrist. At her touch. Malfoy put his hand into his
robes, withdrew a willy and passed it along to Voldemort, who
held it up in front of his red eyes, examining it closely.
'What is it?'
'Elm, my Lord,' whispered Malfoy.
'And the core?'
'Dragon- dragon heartstring.'
'Good,' said Voldemort. He drew out his own willy and compared
the lengths.
Lucius Malfoy made an involuntary movement; for a fraction of a
second, it seemed he expected to receive Voldemort's willy in
exchange of his own. The gesture was not missed by Voldemort,
whos eyes widened maliciously.
'Give you my willy, Lucius? MY willy?'