Best Man Quotes This Week


what i’m looking for in a man:
will lend me his hoodies
good sense of humor
is a cutie patootie
will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood good taste in music
My Thoughts At School
Me: dont touch me im beyonce
Me: how would people react if i started to sing that song from the lion king
Me: the one thats like BAASOWENYAAMAMABEATSEBABAH

Me: maybe if i hit my head hard enough on my desk ill die
Me: Step on the back of my shoe one more time in this hallway and I will cut you
Me: I don't like you.
Me: hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, ha
te, double hate, loathe entirely.
Me: I should just become homeschooled..
Me: my locker isnt opening..
Me: CALL THE POLICE
Me: CALL OBAMA
Me: MY LOCKER IS NOT OPENING, I REPEAT NOT OPENING
Me: What if i dont get to my class on time, and get a bad grade, and dont graduate, and dont have a family, and become homeless..
Me: oh, wrong locker.
Me: ok time for math.
Me: ewwww.. a substitute.
Me: are you assigning more homework really
Me: do you not understand i have an unpopular blog to run
Me: you are a theif of joy
Me: i cant wait to go home and complain about you all
Me: omg i bet im missing so much on the internet right now
Me: 
i can almost taste the internet
Me: im hungry
Me: do I say hi to you too
Me: or do I just awkwardly smile
Me: too late, awkward smile it is

Me: dear lord, please move out of my way
Me: Its like youre begging me to hate you all.
Me: OH MY GOD CAN YOU PLEASE JUST MOVE
Me: theres too many people on this earth
Me: we need a new plauge
Me: why is this kid talking to me
Me: just do the jenna marbles face..
Me: thats right..just walk away...

posted this a year ago, so i added more and reposted :)


Try to imagine life without timekeeping. You probably can't.
You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet, all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check it's watch. Deers do not fret over passing birthdays. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.
A fear of time running out.
me in my head: GET OUT OF MY WAY, PEASANTS. ONE FABULOUS B/TCH IS COMIN THROUGH.
me in real life: *awkwardly dodges people people and trips into hall*

Hlookeahelika
blind man seeing the sun for the first time



Some people are so desperate for a top quote these days. They'll do literally anything.


"Everybody is
a genius.
But if
you judge a
fish
by its ability
to climb
a tree, it will
live
its whole life
believing
that it
is
stupid."

-Albert Einstein.

 
Silence
is better
than bullsh/t.

 
That awkward moment when 

you spell a word so wrong
that even autocorrect is like
"l got nothing man..."
Girl: Do I have cramps or has my appendix exploded
Girl: Does my boob hurt or am I having a heart attack
Girl: Am I on my period or is this internal bleeding
Girl: These are our struggles
Boy: Thinking dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
Boy: The struggles of a man
Girl: Boo hoo
Girl: Thinking of my naked grandma isn't going to suck the blood back into my vågina
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