This crazy is
An ex lover,
A neglectful parent,
A small screaming child
A little girl with nowhere to go
A dissease
An illness,
A condition of the mind,
A mindset,
A flaw of carracter
A cage I never tried to escape
A shadow over all the rest,
A blanket to cover up the fear
A murder with no body
A smell of rotten silence
A place I left years ago,
A past I forgot to forget,
A meal eaten alone
A dinner served cold
A sick society,
A sick calling from God,
A brilliant novel,
A poem
An ex lover,
A neglectful parent,
A small screaming child
A little girl with nowhere to go
A dissease
An illness,
A condition of the mind,
A mindset,
A flaw of carracter
A cage I never tried to escape
A shadow over all the rest,
A blanket to cover up the fear
A murder with no body
A smell of rotten silence
A place I left years ago,
A past I forgot to forget,
A meal eaten alone
A dinner served cold
A sick society,
A sick calling from God,
A brilliant novel,
A poem
I've read so
much
I have read too much
they have written me a dessert
they have written me an ocean
but even when I'm standing in that mud
somebody will write me a city or a forrest
I can never be in one place anymore
because I have read too much
told me love would sweep me of my feet
and carry me trough any situation
told me love would leave
told me love doesn't exist
every person I meet is a persona
I can't see faces anymore
because I have read too much
I have read too much
they have written me a dessert
they have written me an ocean
but even when I'm standing in that mud
somebody will write me a city or a forrest
I can never be in one place anymore
because I have read too much
told me love would sweep me of my feet
and carry me trough any situation
told me love would leave
told me love doesn't exist
every person I meet is a persona
I can't see faces anymore
because I have read too much
Show of your pages
and I will read you like a book
And I'll cry over your tragedy
and I will read you like a book
And I'll cry over your tragedy
During the summer, there was a girl. I, however, was not
responsible for anything that happened between us. She was the
one who would talk about wanting to kiss me. She was the one who
asked if I liked her. She was the one who curled into my side
when we watched movies. My relationship with her didn't
last—whether it existed at all could be debated—but
the effect that it has on me endures. Maybe if it had lasted
longer, I would have learnt her confidence.
I could use it. I wish I had the courage to break this social protocol I constructed in my head and ask you to tea for me and whatever you want for you. Or the guts to take your phone and scare it with my selfies. Or maybe the insanity to reach for your hand.
I promise I won't propose anything rash. We don't have to become a promise-ring-wearing, take-on-the-world-because-we-won't-fall duo. I'm not sure I'd want that. But what would be wrong with laying on the grass during the summer and alternating between reading excerpts of e.e.cummings and sharing bad puns? I know damn well that by now you've figured out that I'm secretly a romantic, but I have a suspicion that you are, too.
But the one thing about two shy introverts is that nothing will ever happen if fate doesn't shove them together.
I could use it. I wish I had the courage to break this social protocol I constructed in my head and ask you to tea for me and whatever you want for you. Or the guts to take your phone and scare it with my selfies. Or maybe the insanity to reach for your hand.
I promise I won't propose anything rash. We don't have to become a promise-ring-wearing, take-on-the-world-because-we-won't-fall duo. I'm not sure I'd want that. But what would be wrong with laying on the grass during the summer and alternating between reading excerpts of e.e.cummings and sharing bad puns? I know damn well that by now you've figured out that I'm secretly a romantic, but I have a suspicion that you are, too.
But the one thing about two shy introverts is that nothing will ever happen if fate doesn't shove them together.
I made a house out of
myself
for you while I am a drifter
by nature
what if you don't like my new walls built for your comfort
what if you don't think the funature is comfotatble
or your taste, what if you're a nomad yourself
and my insides stay empty
they told me to never make a home of a person
I never realised that others wouldn't dare to live in me aswel
because it's scary that your roof may pack up themselves
and leave
No welcomemats and fireplaces can eliminate that fear
if you show someone the low costs and nice garden
they'll wonder why nobody else lives there before
not realising that the house was only built for them
when the nomad leaves
the drifter has to realise being a house is not it's nature
but I'll keep the door there
in case you change your mind
for you while I am a drifter
by nature
what if you don't like my new walls built for your comfort
what if you don't think the funature is comfotatble
or your taste, what if you're a nomad yourself
and my insides stay empty
they told me to never make a home of a person
I never realised that others wouldn't dare to live in me aswel
because it's scary that your roof may pack up themselves
and leave
No welcomemats and fireplaces can eliminate that fear
if you show someone the low costs and nice garden
they'll wonder why nobody else lives there before
not realising that the house was only built for them
when the nomad leaves
the drifter has to realise being a house is not it's nature
but I'll keep the door there
in case you change your mind
this paper is my
shrink
makes me confess my sins
and the tragedies that came over me
This is my written word rehab
learning to let go of my addicion
with my sadness and loneliness
Learning to stand tall by meself
exposed for others who want to
read about my journey
No I'm not happy, not proud
not yet strong or brave or smart
but it's a work in progress
pretending is half the work
until I get there I can be honest here
about the fear of being unnoticed
fear of being alone
or unloved
or me
makes me confess my sins
and the tragedies that came over me
This is my written word rehab
learning to let go of my addicion
with my sadness and loneliness
Learning to stand tall by meself
exposed for others who want to
read about my journey
No I'm not happy, not proud
not yet strong or brave or smart
but it's a work in progress
pretending is half the work
until I get there I can be honest here
about the fear of being unnoticed
fear of being alone
or unloved
or me
When our song slowed
down
I realised it was my song
all along
I aways bottle it up
but now I pour out the love
for myself
Because you where killing me
kindly and my skin is thicker but it burns
all the same
and you will get better
in your never new year
and I'm gone
We tought it was a love song
but I realised it was mine
all along
I realised it was my song
all along
I aways bottle it up
but now I pour out the love
for myself
Because you where killing me
kindly and my skin is thicker but it burns
all the same
and you will get better
in your never new year
and I'm gone
We tought it was a love song
but I realised it was mine
all along
Men only kneel for
gods and kings
because of fear so
Do not kneel for me
Take my hand by your side
Let the altar made for me
be devoid of blood of goats or virgins
Don't bring me flowers
let them grow in the wild
If you wash my hair
I will wash your back
Learn how to spell love
as giving instead of offering
To adore me is the same
as to pitty me
Do not adore me
Take my hand by your side
because of fear so
Do not kneel for me
Take my hand by your side
Let the altar made for me
be devoid of blood of goats or virgins
Don't bring me flowers
let them grow in the wild
If you wash my hair
I will wash your back
Learn how to spell love
as giving instead of offering
To adore me is the same
as to pitty me
Do not adore me
Take my hand by your side
If I could summerize myself
I would, but I can't so I wont
I think a lot of it boils down to controle
and the contole is because
I haven't learned how to love
myself, not yet
love, once my dear friend
has become a stranger
to me, would I recognise
it when it walked my way?
If love is a rush, an blush
more fysical than mental
then I might have found it
but it would be found in every
dark ally where you would flee
if love is the same routine
comfort and unsurprising
then I might have found it
but it's tearing me apart
because there's no respect
neither of these are love
so the search continues
back to the feeling of that
boy that put my hair behind
my ear and held his breath
to not startle the beauty
I would, but I can't so I wont
I think a lot of it boils down to controle
and the contole is because
I haven't learned how to love
myself, not yet
love, once my dear friend
has become a stranger
to me, would I recognise
it when it walked my way?
If love is a rush, an blush
more fysical than mental
then I might have found it
but it would be found in every
dark ally where you would flee
if love is the same routine
comfort and unsurprising
then I might have found it
but it's tearing me apart
because there's no respect
neither of these are love
so the search continues
back to the feeling of that
boy that put my hair behind
my ear and held his breath
to not startle the beauty
