Best Mine Quotes This Month



A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE


I don't get how people get abs?
Seriously though, it's like, abnormal.


I've always been confused
how a race car on Mario Kart could flip over because it touches a banana.


In computer class.
Crush: How do you do this format stuff for the text omg? It's so complicated!
Me (thinking): Oh yes this is my chance to talk to him!
Me: Here, it's actually easy! Just do this: Open up an HTML Edit tab, open up a HTML Color tab, and also open up Microsoft Word if you want for the fonts! Now, you need to first start off with a code like this: 
<span style="font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:44px; color: #00000"></span>. Right between the span thing and font size you put your text in! In the # thing, open the color tab and copy the code in! If you want spaces, put </br>. If you want letter spacing, use the letter spacing code: letter-spacing: -1px. Remember, negative numbers make your text more squished together! Also, if you want your text to have a shadow, do: text-shadow: 0px 0px 2px #000000! Oh, and then after you've got all that, you need to transfer the text by dragging it from your HTML Edit tab to the tab you want to put it on! But that's just the basics. Easy!
Crush: ...what the


What if this happened.
Girl: ~does math homework in class~
Girl: Omg i can't these problems!!
Girl: It's sO HARD I CANT OMGG
Girl: ~runs away crying in frustration~

Teacher: What just happened miss
Girls Friend: She ran away from her problems



Me: ~tapes a cheetah to the back of the school clocks~



 
Relax!
Uh oh, there was an error when we tried to add a boyfriend to your life. Please try again.



My life on Witty.
Me: ~posts super funny quote that gets 5 favorites within 1 minute~
Me: OH YES I'M GONNA BE ON THE TOP TODAY PAGE
Popular Person: ~posts quote that says 'Hi'~
Me: Damn it i have no chance against that quote




GUYS. I FIGURED OUT WHY WE ALL HAVE CAT OBSESSIONS.
We obviously have friends because we share common interests, right? Well look at this great non-biased research:

Cats: Sleeps all day, parties at night, eats, sleeps, not socialable, hides when people are near
Teenage Girls On Witty: Sleeps all day, parties at night, sleeps, not socialable, hides when people are near

I am a genius


They only care if your quote is pretty
or says, 'This quote does not exist'.
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