A rant about
friendship
I
used to have this amazing bestfriend. God, we were friends our
entire lives. Within the past year or so, the seams began to
come undone and as hard as we (I) tried, we (I) couldn't
get it back together. This was obviously very difficult,
because she mattered a lot to me. I had grown up with her. But
as time passed I came to terms with it and I could feel the
space in my heart that had been ripped out slowly begin to scar
over.
We remain friends, but not nearly as close as we once were. The
problem is that she has another bestfriend. So do I, but that
really isn't the point. She was my first bestfriend, my
real bestfriend. My sister. When I see her with her new
bestfriend, it isn't even jealousy that I feel because that
emotion regarding our friendship is now numb. I don't feel
it anymore. What's left is pure sadness. I feel like we
broke something beautiful. Something that didn't mean to be
broken. Maybe I sound more like an ex girlfriend, but it's
how I feel. I miss who she used to be and who I used to be. Our
personalities have changed. The puzzle pieces don't fit
anymore. It's sad and painful and I wish it didn't
happen. It's like a slow ache.
Even though I know we can never be friends again, there's
this little part of me that desperetly wants to. I miss having
someone to trust, to turn to.
I miss my bestfriend.