Why Everyone Hates Mosquitoes
My parents: Oh no! We forgot to pack mosquito repellent
for when you go to China!
Me: It's okay. I'll just let the mosquitoes
Me: How bad can it be?
Me: *flies to China*
Me: *goes to grandma's house*
Me: *gets ten mosquito bites*
Me: They're not that itchy.
Me: *gets fifteen mosquito bites*
Me: They're fine as long as I don't scratch
them. *scratches one until it leaves a hole in my finger*
Me: *gets twenty mosquito bites*
Me: Must stop scratching. *scratches mosquito bites
until they bleed*
Me: *gets twenty-five mosquito bites*.
Me: *starts slapping myself to stop scratching*
Me: *wakes up in the middle of the night and hears a mosquito
buzzing next to my ear*
Me: *pulls covers over my face*
Mosquito: Oh no you don't.
Mosquito: *flies in through the gaps*
Mosquito: *bites my forehead*
Mosquito: *bites my cheeks*
Mosquito: *bites my chin*
Me: *slaps own face to kill mosquito*
Me: *misses epically*
Mosquito: *buzzes annoyingly away*
Me: *runs downstairs to get the electric mosquito
Me: *lays awake trying to electrocute mosquito*
Mosquito: *buzzes next to my face*
Me: *violently swings mosquito swatter around*
Me: *hits self*
Me: *sees mosquito*
Me: *swings mosquito swatter*
Mosquito: *gets electrocuted and dies*
Me: *lays down again*
Me: *hears another mosquito*
The Next Morning
My Grandma: Don't scratch your forehead. You have
really big pimples.
Me: They're mosquito bites.
My Grandma: Oh.
Another true story.