Best Mother Quotes This Week

Every mother on Earth gave birth to a child. Except my mom,
she gave birth to a legend. Congrats mom.
My mom: She takes 3 AP classes and all you take is 2 
My mom: She made the tennis team and all you do is track and field
My mom: She plays the piano and the violin and you only play the violin 
My mom: She dances and she sings and all you can do is dance
My mom: She's a year ahead in math and you're only in honors 
My mom: She's so beautiful and dresses classy while you are ugly
My mom: She has so many friends and is so social while you have 2 friends left 
My mom: She's so hardworking and headstong and all you do is cry
My mom: She has such a beautiful body and eats properly and you're just fat 
My mom: She's good enough for me while you're not and NEVER will be. 

Anyone can be a mother or a father. It takes hard work to be a mom or a dad.
Parents always say that they're worried about their daughter getting
pregnant, but they never say that they're worried about their son getting someone pregnant. I think that says a lot.
Why I'll be the best parent ever:
When I get into a big fight with my future teenage child and they won't back down I'm just going to yell, "Thank God I'm not your biological mother!" Then I'll watch them freak out for a few minutes before saying, "Nah, I'm just kidding." And then they'll get all mad and I'll just be like, "That's what you get for giving me attitude." And then my husband will just be there like, "Oh my God."
My mother: I'm turning 50 soon...
Her: Am I old?
Her: I'm old.
Her: My life is like half over.
Her: I don't even have grandchildren yet.
Her: I want that second half.
Me: ... *looks up from laptop*
Me: I'm fifteen! 



 


 
 
I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone.

But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with her best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don't fancy being lonely.

The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won't run away.

 

my grandmother: here's your dinner dO YOU WANT A LOAF OF BREAD WITH THAT WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME OF THESE ROLLS I ALSO COOKED A TURKEY FOR LATER DO YOU WANT A SLICE OF PIE I ORDERED PIZZA ALSO THERE'S SOME CHOCOLATE UNDERNEATH YOUR PLATE IN CASE YOU GET HUNGRY WHILE YOU'RE REACHING FOR THE FOOD ALSO I HAVE MADE AN ICECREAM SUNDAE OUT OF MY OWN TEARS FOR YOU TO EAT AND ENJOY WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME FRUIT WITH THAT GOTTA STAY HEALTHY OH OH DON'T REACH FOR THAT KETCHUP, YOU'LL OVER EXERT YOURSELF - LET ME GET IT OH DO YOU NEED ME TO CUT UP YOUR CHIPS FOR YOU OKAY DEAR DON'T WORRY I also made cupcakes.

my mum: what do you mean you need to eat food every day
The other day,
I got home and there was a whole bunch of flowers on the front door step. You might be expecting an incoming 'aww' and you're right... but not in the way you expect. I was wondering what the flowers were for so I read the card. It read "Sorry for the loss of your mother". They were sent to the wrong address. Also, since the weather's getting warm here in Australia, the flowers were beginning to droop. I don't know about you but I think that's just one of the saddest things ever.



mum: why do you waste your life on the internet you never learn anything
me: CORRECTION MOTHER. I have learnt what procrastination means and also what a fox says





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