Murderer Quotes

Fun Fact: The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime.

friend: i wish i had the ability to make hot boys really nervous
me: holding a sharp knife to their neck usually does the trick for me
Look beneath the floorboards for all the secrets I have hid.
Honestly believing "IF I LAY

PERFECTLY STILL IN MY

BED...THE MURDERER IN MY

HOUSE WON'T KILL ME"

 Operator: 9-1-1 please hold.
 Me: Okay. Wait, stop stabbing me for a sec.
 Murderer: K.
 

Friend: Do you ever check behind the shower curtain.. for murderers?
Me: Everyday, why?
Friend: Well, what if you find one? Then what's your plan? You're toast..
Me: B.tch please. I never check without a weapon.. Get it together.
Friend: ...
If a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all they'd have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as sh  it I'm gonna go see why it isn't working.
"You're bleeding because you don't floss your teeth," the murder says as he begins to stab me in the arm.
Having a pet in the house is good.
You can blame all supicious sounds on it when your in bed.
*BANG* What was that....oh, it was just the fish.

What if
a murderer was creeping up behind you
while you were listening to music
but they liked the music you were listening to
so they decided to let you live?

 

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