I don’t know what’s the matter with me—why
I’m so adept at distance, why I feel so remote from
things, why life feels like a rumor.
No one in my
family, not one of my friends or classmates realized that I was
going through life asleep. It was literally true: I was going
through life asleep. My body had no more feeling than a drowned
corpse. My very existence, my life in the world, seemed like a
hallucination. A strong wind would make me think my body was
about to be blown to the end of the earth, to some land I had
never seen or heard of, where my mind and body would separate
forever. ‘Hold tight’, I would tell myself, but
there was nothing for me to hold on to. —Haruki
Murakami
I lay in bed and watch the wall, where not much happens; not much
at all. I feel so sick, I feel so dead - I'm told I'm
just sick in the head. At I first I was sad, which soon lead to
numb; my medication don't work and my therapist's dumb.
But now I'm just tired - I'm not bothered at all, so
I'll continue to lay and stare at the wall.
sometimes I wish I didn't have emotions
When you're not falling apart
anymore. When you're not crying anymore. When you can't get more
broken. When it seems like nothing or just simply not enough.
When all you feel is numbness covering every inch of your body.
When you feel heartless. Emotionless. Just then, you thought
you'd never get used to it. But here you are, used to pain as you
lay motionless. .
I've
always
concidered
witty
like
my diary.
I don't have to be scared people would judge me;
So I guess it's confession time..
I've quit cutting;
But I've turned to drugs to fill the emptyness and numb the pain;
Which is worse?
I don't have to be scared people would judge me;
So I guess it's confession time..
I've quit cutting;
But I've turned to drugs to fill the emptyness and numb the pain;
Which is worse?
