Best Oh Quotes This Year

GUYS I ASKED THE CUTE BOY IN MY CHEM CLASS FOR A PEN AND AT THE END OF THE CLASS I WENT TO GO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, I ENDED UP STABBING HIM IN THE HAND WITH IT AND IT WAS BLEEDING AND IF THAT DOESNT EXPLAIN WHY I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL.

how do boys look good without makeup?

Guys
I was in Spanish class today and we were given an assignment to make a movie off a play that we were given.  Our play is about this guy and girl who are making out and they end up breaking up.
I'm the only guy assigned in the group and then there are two girls.  I have to be the boyfriend because I'm the only male and then one girl immediately said "I CALL NARRATOR" and the other girl who was put in my group was my crush so um yeah I have to make out with my crush.  For school.  On video.

Oh cool, my middle finger likes you.

what do you mean 'i stayed on my computer in the living room all day' isn't an inside joke??

 

do penguins even have knees? what the f^ck

Little birdie in the sky;

You look up and it s.h.i.t.s. in your eye;

You don't mind and you don't cry;

You just thank God that cows don't fly

Today is my witty anniversary and my crush's birthday

I don't think this is a coincidence