Omnomnom Quotes

Reasons to date me:
1) Sometimes I'm funny
2) You'll never go hungry because I always have food
3) That's pretty much it
Things I look for in a soulmate:
1) He has to be taller than me
2) You have to be able to match me in an eating contest
3) That's pretty much it
Crisp packet: perfect for sharing!
Me: yeah, with my digestive system...
I'd like to open an all you can eat restaurant
but just give people one serving and tell them that's all they can eat

Not to get technical,
but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution
Maybe when it's all over
and she can finally love herself 
she will see how she really was worth it 

If you were a fruit
you'd be a fineapple

Eat whatever you want,
and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight,
eat them too.
*Watches shark week*
"The blue shark will eat until it throws up then continue eating"
I think I've discovered my spirit animal

All I wanted was to eat the chicken
that is smarter than other chickens 
and to absorb its power
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