Openletter Quotes


 “You can find the flaws in anything,” said  

the man who finds flaws in me more readily than anybody else I know. Despite this, it's my favorite criticism on my character I've ever been given because it is so profoundly true, so obvious yet overlooked. You see this facet of me clear as day while failing to understand most everything else about me, and perhaps that's what makes the frank observation so special.

So, Dad, I'll hand it to you: I am shrewd, I am nitpicky. I pull things apart with my eyes and my mind. I'm not easygoing or complacent. I see how things are and how they can be improved, and it drives you crazy because you don't want to look that long and hard at what's right in front of you. Giving it a nod of approval is easier. I appreciate your honest assessment of this difference between us.

What I like less is how, too preoccupied with vilifying me at any given opportunity for my high standards of work and material objects, you never acknowledge my softer, more accepting policy on human beings. I do not ridicule imperfections in people, but love and celebrate them. I put aside my frenzied analyzations and sometimes peer through rose-colored lenses.

Maybe you don't want to talk about this part of me because it's gotten me into trouble a time or two, and you don't want to think about the pain it's caused me. Maybe you're just too busy wanting to tone down the harsher half of me, that constantly pushes me to create bigger and better things, even though having a sharp head on my shoulders won't crush me like having a heart of gold hang heavily in my chest. One day these opposing pieces coexisting side by side might rip me apart, and I think that possibility scares you so you're trying to make the one meld harmoniously into the other, hammering them down with blunt force words.

But, Dad, you have to take your own advice. You're always telling me to let things be, let things go. Now you should do the same for me. Let me be all that I am and let me both suffer the consequences and reap the rewards that result. I'm still figuring it all out, but I know for a fact that it's all okay. Thank you for helping me to realize what, in eighteen years, you haven't yet yourself. I love you.
It's your birthday today. You've been out of my life for two years now, and while I no longer feel any profound emotion when I think about you, I can still perfectly recall the features of your sometimes cruel face, your throaty voice and loud laugh...and your birthday. I don't think I'm ever going to forget it. How can you forget the day someone who would eventually impact and devastate your world was born? Somewhere, eighteen years ago, you were pulled kicking and screaming into this unfair world to be placed in the loveless arms of parents who would give you a name and little else. This day eighteen years past was one of the few in your life that knew whole, uncorrupted peace and innocence. And now that I don't get to celebrate it with you, I find myself wondering how you do. Where are you right now? Who is with you? Are you wearing an empty smile and a party hat as flames dance in your world-weary eyes and singing voices clash and swell in your ears? Are you drowning your demons in alcohol, the same way your parents often tried, hoping to forget this day ever happened the way it did? (It's no use, the fire burning in your throat and the reverberating ache of your hollow soul remind you that you're alive and stuck in a world that never wanted you.) Or are you, by some miracle of this fickle universe, actually happy? I hope so. That's all I ever wanted for you, you know. Even when I was crying and bleeding and you threatened to break me into pieces smaller than yours, I wished you happiness. And I wish you strong, gentle hands that hold your bruised heart with a securer grip than my own trembling fingers were capable of. And I wish you the same knowledge I've gained: that this day did happen for a reason. You happened for a reason. 

An Open Letter To My Brother's:
You're both annoying and need to shut up

I'm not searching the sky, for a reason to live


I'm not searching the sky

For a reason to live

Cause I've found beauty right here

And the passion to give

Let me give you my heart

Let me give you my tears

Let me give you my life

Let me give you my fears


 
I'm not searching the sky for a reason to live
'cause I found beauty right here and found the passion to give,
so let me give you my heart,
let me give you my tears,
let me give you my life,
 let me give you my fears.

 
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